A Message from Kim
I wanted to share with you an email that I received this week from Rebecca Sparrow. Bec is an acclaimed Australian writer, speaker, podcaster, and a passionate advocate for prioritising connection and belonging in an increasingly lonely world. Her dream is for every child and adult to feel a true sense of belonging. With a passion for teaching kids and adults how to foster authentic connections, Bec has become a trusted voice in helping tweens and teens around the globe understand why having positive, healthy friendships is important, what it takes to build strong friendships and how to navigate the complexities of social connection at school. You can find out a bit more about Bec at https://rebeccasparrow.com/
Her email that I received this week talks about some of the harm that is being caused by social media and while many of us might think that some of what Bec is talking about in this email does not apply to primary school aged children we need to be realistic in acknowledging that it absolutely does. We know that many students here at Lysterfield Primary School as young as Grade 3 are on multiple social media platforms including Snapchat, Tik Tok, Discord, YouTube and Instagram. Please read Bec’s email below.
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Hi.
I'm meant to be telling you about the early bird price ending in about 24 hours for my Birds of a Feather Book club. But I can't send that today. (So expect an email from me about that tomorrow ...)
Anyway.
I was thinking yesterday about America's gun laws. Thinking how every time there's a mass shooting in the US, as Australians we sit here and shake our heads in disbelief. As Americans say things like "No one saw this coming" and 'It's a tragedy" ... we sit here thinking, ‘Are you serious?’.
They change nothing. Amend nothing. And keep expecting a different outcome.
Meanwhile in Australia for years nearly every day there's been a new story about the harm caused by smartphones and social media in the hands of kids.
We read gut-churning stories about teen boys being blackmailed on Snapchat and Roblox by overseas scammers, conned into sending nude photos of themselves. So humiliated are the boys some of them take their own lives.
Stories of 10-year-old girls on sleepovers badgering and bullying a not-invited classmate while the host parents are downstairs watching TV.
Sickeningly violent porn being watched and shared by teen boys on the bus to school.
Sinister algorithms feeding vulnerable teens content promoting suicide and self-harm and eating disorders. Content which takes our kids down dark rabbit holes with catastrophic consequences.
And just this week the utterly tragic story of how earlier this year a group of tween girls decided to catfish Brisbane school girl Ella Catley-Crawford – creating a fake profile of a cute teen boy to con Ella into thinking a boy liked her for the ultimate gotcha. They shared Ella’s personal photos and reportedly relentlessly bullied Ella for months even after she’d moved schools. Ella took her life in October.
And we shake our heads and whisper, 'Oh gosh that's terrible' and 'I'm glad phones weren't around when I was 14.'
Then we continue handing over devices to our kids. Saying yes to Snapchat and Instagram and TikTok. Saying yes to social media because our greatest fear is that our kids will be left out.
I get it. I do. Nobody wants their child to be socially isolated. We are giving in to them out of love.
There is such irony that we are giving kids phones 'because they're catching public transport now'. We give phones to our kids to keep them safe and instead we hand them something which opens them up to more dangers and more harm than a missed bus statistically ever would.
Yes, I think schools have rushed too hard and fast to adopt tech into their teaching.
Yes, the major tech players are wholly responsible for creating these devices and apps which are so highly addictive and destructive.
Yes, the government should be stepping in to raise the age limit.
But we cannot control any of that. We - the parents - can only control our own behaviour.
We are ignoring the advice of experts who are PLEADING with us to delay. We block our ears and continue giving smartphones and social media to our tweens and young teens. Saying yes to apps. Feeling like it's a bit too mean or an 'invasion of privacy' to enforce boundaries or restrictions.
"But I know my child is being responsible!’ some parents cry.
Please. How do you know? Are you doing random checks of their phone? And if your child is on Snapchat with its disappearing messages – you frankly have no idea what your child is saying to others and what’s being said to them.
Our kids do not have the life experience to understand the consequences of what they're doing online. We are handing them devices which require good judgement. We are giving them apps which can blow up their lives and the lives of other people and then we vilify our kids when they screw up.
It is our kids, not us, who are paying an extraordinarily high price for our inability to say no. They are paying with their mental health. In some cases, with their lives.
This is on us to demonstrate good judgement Not our kids.
Our kids need us to step up.
Our kids need us to say, 'No, not yet.'
Our kids need us to be strong enough to weather their protests.
For now, the buck stops with us. And the more of us who stand together and decide to wait until our kids are 16 before we give them social media the easier it will be.
The Albanese Government has pledged to bring in a minimum age of 16 for social media. But the truth is this will only work if we finally choose to listen.
Are we ready to start listening?
Bec
Raising Kids in a Digital World - for Lysterfield PS
Last Thursday Inform and Empower presented an informative and engaging session on Raising Kids in a Digital World.
Topics covered were:
- When is the time to allow children access to the web, social media and online games.
- What do you say when they ask but you are not ready for them to have access?
- How to manage the risks when online.
- How different platforms such as TikTok, Youtube and SnapChat really work.
- What type of content are children exposed to?
- Any many more useful tips and information.
The webinar is now available to view until 4th December
Raising Kids in a Digital World - Parent Resources for Lysterfield PS
https://www.informandempower.com.au/parents
- Replay - To access the webinar replay, the password is informempower
- Toolkit (slides, links & resources from the session)
- Blog posts
- Printable family poster