Banyule Bulletin

URSTRONG blog post

As social creatures, we all want to feel that we belong. Sometimes children will gossip as a means of feeling close with others. So, it’s a matter of helping your child seek connection in positive ways instead.

 

Here are a few angles we would suggest in your discussions with your child:

  1. BUILDING TRUST: In order to foster healthy friendships, your child needs to be trustworthy. If they’re at a URSTRONG School, they would have learned that Friendship Fact #3 states that Trust & Respect are the two most important qualities of a friendship. Ask your child, “How can you build trust with your friends?” Use the Friend-o-Meter in your discussion, reminding them to be a Green-Zone Friend. Here’s an activity to guide your chat!
  2. BE KIND-ON-PURPOSE: Explain to your child that research shows that kids who are kind are the most well-liked and trusted by their peers. Get your child to brainstorm ways they can be Kind-on-Purpose to their classmates and friends. Intentional acts of kindness not only fosters feel-good friendships, but will also improve your child’s own wellbeing (evoking positive emotions).
  3. SPREADING or SPARKING FRIENDSHIP FIRES: Remind your child that it’s important that they make choices that make Friendship Fires smaller, not adding fuel to Fires or spreading them around. Ask your child, “How can you put out Friendship Fires?” Here’s a video to show your child!
  4. STAYING OUT OF THE MIDDLE: Encourage your child to focus on their own friendships and not get stuck in the middle of others’. In Friendology, they learn about not being in the middle of a Friendship Sandwich – it’s sticky & messy in there. Here’s a video to show your child!

Lastly, here’s a little reflection sheet that might be useful. It’s helpful for children to reflect on conflict in friendships and try to see the situation from a more objective perspective. The ‘fly on the wall’ question helps them to see things from another perspective, which ultimately, helps to strengthen empathy and compassion for others.

 

Source: https://urstrong.com/resource/new-help-my-child-is-gossiping-causing-conflict/