Online Porn
How do kids find pornography online?
- Your child may actively search for explicit content online, out of curiosity or perhaps because their friends are talking about it. They may hear about it on apps aged at older audiences such as TikTok or Snapchat.
- A friend or sibling (or an adult) may share inappropriate content with them via messages. Often this type of content will be sent via Snapchat so that the message disappears.
- Your child may accidentally type the wrong word or phrase into an internet search or mistakenly click on a link to something that looks interesting but turns out to be pornographic.
- They might click on links in phishing or spam messages, dodgy links and pop-ups (even on harmless websites).
- Or they may also encounter pornography on free games websites for children. Some popular children’s cartoons have been hijacked with a pornographic version — which can be very distressing for a child to see.
How can I protect my child?
Start by making your home environment as safe as possible.
Set some ‘house rules’
Discuss the issue with all siblings in age-appropriate ways and ensure everyone agrees to play by the same rules. For example, ‘in our house we don’t share inappropriate images’.
Talk about where it is and is not OK to use computers or devices. Ideally, your child should only use them in public areas of the home. Bedrooms, a closed study, or other private spaces should be device no-go zones for younger children.
Stay engaged
Talking regularly and openly with your child about what they are doing online will help build trust, and may reduce your desire to monitor your child’s browser history or check up on them without them knowing.
Use the available technology
Take advantage of the parental controls available on computers, modems and other devices, and ensure the ‘safe search’ mode is enabled on browsers. Find out more about parental controls. Consider setting a wi-fi curfew. Determine a reasonable time to shut off the wi-fi, and then do so consistently each night. Explain to your child the reasons for putting controls in place. Especially for older children and teens, being too controlling may lead them to hide their behaviour and not be open with you.
Consider raising the subject of pornography yourself
Particularly for young children, you might feel that talking about pornography will simply make them curious and more likely to explore on their own. It is OK to delay the conversation if your child is generally open with you about what they are viewing online, and you are reasonably sure they have not been exposed to pornographic content.
But by the time they are around 9 years old, parenting expert Dr Justin Coulson recommends that you should consider talking about pornography to help protect them from the potential impacts of coming across it accidentally. Every child is different, so it is important to decide when you think it is right to raise the subject with your child.
For help, see our advice on the hard-to-have conversations.
Take a long-term view
Discussions about sex, intimacy, and pornography best take place when your child feels they can trust you. This is a long-term challenge that means investing time in your relationship with your child, rather than a quick fix for the moment when you discover they have seen pornography. If that happens, see what can I do.
Reinforce that if they do see something they do not understand, they can come and ask you about it — no topic is off limits.