APS Newsletter

Group Chats

Disclaimer: Whilst there isn’t an age recommendation on iMessage or Group Chats, Aberfeldie Primary School strongly discourages the use of these features for all students in Foundation to Year 4 due to their developmental readiness. Depending on social, cognitive and emotional development, students in Year 5/6 may be ready to explore online messaging with strong education, home supports and parental supervision. No 'class group chats' are encouraged, endorsed or approved by the school, and the use of messaging features are banned when onsite. 

 

iMessage conversations and group chats are among the most popular ways that children engage with peers online. These apps, such as iMessage, allow users to send texts, images and videos to their peers. iMessage is the same as a closed chat room but this can still present many challenges for the users safety and wellbeing. 

The Common Issues with Group Chats:

  • Cyberbullying: Unkind comments or images aimed at a user can be shared freely in group chats, allowing and often encouraging others to join in on bullying behaviours.
  • Inappropriate Content: Discussions in group chats can include swearing or inappropriate sharing of images or content involving violence, racism or sexual content. 
  • Sharing of Content: Whilst the content of a chat may be private, users can easily screenshot and share conversations with others without consent. The risk of something your child intended as a private becoming public (or going viral) is much higher online than in person. This risk increases with larger group chats. 
  • Unknown Members: With the use of group chats, it’s more likely your child will be communicating with people they don’t actually know. These strangers may be friends or family added by others. On occasion, we find that group members may also pretend to be someone they are not. 
  • Exclusion: Group chats are often regulated by children, meaning that the creator or members can remove or add other members without consent. 
  • Friendship Conflicts: Issues between friends can be amplified online as children often have a false sense of courage when using a screen.

Developmental Considerations for Group Chats:

It is essential to remember that children in primary school are still novices when it comes to social interaction. This essential stage of their development becomes further complicated when children access online messaging or social media, which often requires knowledge and executive function skills well beyond their developmental level. When considering the use of messaging apps for your child, it is important to consider: 

  • Emotional Maturity: At this age, children are still developing the ability to understand and manage their emotions. Online interactions, especially in group chats, can sometimes be intense and difficult for them to handle without getting upset or overwhelmed. 
  • Social Skills: Children in this age group are still learning important social skills, such as empathy, conflict resolution, and understanding social cues. Online communication lacks the non-verbal cues present in face-to-face interactions, making it harder for them to navigate complex social situations. Before age 10, children are often concrete thinkers and can have significant difficulty understanding sarcasm, jokes or subtle cues in text messages. 
  • Impulsivity: Young children often act on impulse and may post messages or share content without considering the long term consequences. This can lead to misunderstandings, hurt feelings, or unintended sharing of private information. Group chats can also act as an arena for children to gain social status. This can cause them to do or say things on impulse, which can have large consequences.  

Questions to ask before your child has access to messages or group chats:

Whilst we continue to educate students on appropriate online behaviour, the use of iMessage and group chats predominantly occurs outside of the school setting. It is essential to check that your child is ready for online messaging prior to them using these features. Here are some questions to consider before allowing group chats:

  • Does my child understand the concept of the ‘invisible audience’ and that anything they say online can be captured and shared with others? 
  • Does your child know how to deal with negative online experiences? 
  • Does your child understand the importance of protecting their personal information?  
  • Does your child know how to identify if someone is lying about who they are? 
  • Does your child understand what is safe to share online?
  • Does your child know what to do if someone they don’t know, or someone they can’t verify, is added to a group chat? 
  • Does your child know how to report cyberbullying or other kinds of abusive or inappropriate content? 
  • Does your child fully understand the impact of their words online? 
  • Is your child prepared to have their messages linked to a parent device, so that the parent can see all incoming and outgoing messages?

My child is using iMessage or Group Chats, now what?

  1. Establish rules at the outset with clear boundaries

Talk about expectations and the consequences for not meeting these rules. Depending on the age of your child, you might want to set up a written signed agreement which lists the rules. Here are some you may want to agree on: 

  • No devices after a certain time (i.e. 8.00 pm). Often group chats go well into the night, so consider no devices in the bedroom or a place where all devices are stored at night. 
  • Keep to daily screen time limits (i.e. 1 hour per school night). 
  • Family time is a no-device zone (i.e. dinner).
  • Do not share your passwords with others – apart from parents.
  • Do not share your real name (or full name), age, school and address when posting or messaging. 
  • Be kind to people – only say online what you would say face to face. 
  • Do not take or share photos of others (including friends) without their permission.
  • Do not screenshot or share a conversation or image without permission. 
  • If someone says something you don’t like, block the user and leave the group. 
  • Tell a parent or another trusted adult if anything makes you feel uncomfortable, or if a stranger contacts you online. 
  1. Use technology tools to help keep your child safe
  • Set up Family Sharing on your devices. Family Sharing allows parents to receive their children's messages, and frequently monitor their interactions online. This is the most effective way to keep young children safe online.
  • Set up Communication Safety on Apple. This allows you to place restrictions on nudity and will detect if your child receives or attempts to send an explicit image.
  • Ensure that your child cannot download or purchase any apps without your consent. Most of the apps being utilised by primary aged children (Snapchat, Discord, Instagram, TikTok) legally require a child to be age 13. Review all apps online before installing them. 
  1. Communicate openly with your child, establish and maintain trust 
  • Talk openly and regularly with your child about their online activities. Show them that you are interested in how they connect with friends, who they talk with and the type of sites they visit. If you are using parental controls, be upfront about this and get them on board. Let them know that these can be reviewed and changed as they get older and they continue to demonstrate responsible behaviour. 
  • Talk about positive online behaviour and about respecting others online. Encourage your child to think carefully before they post, text or share comments or photos so they don’t hurt or upset others. Remind them there is a real person at the end of the screen.
  • Encourage your child to come to you (or another trusted adult) if they are upset because of an online experience, even if they think they are to blame.