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Clear is Kind
Being clear is not only helpful, it's actually being kind. Being unclear about expectations, fuzzy on what you really need, or skirting around an issue, is actually unkind — it sets people up to fail, and creates problems in the future.
If you don't give clear feedback, then you're holding that person back from improving. If you say two weeks, but you're really expecting one week, then you'll resent it when it's not done in time. If you say it's really fine when it's not, then you'll continue to be upset about how things are going.
Clear is kind is a simple reminder, though by no means always easy, of how being clear in your communication is the generous, brave, helpful, and kind thing to do.
I learned clear is kind, and unclear is unkind, from Brené Brown in Dare to Lead, and she said she first heard it in a 12-steps meeting. I borrowed the dancing emphasis from the always excellent Eva-Lotta Lamm.
Chesterton's Fence
Chesterton's fence, put simply, is:
Don't take a fence down unless you know why it was put up.
It is tempting, in a spirit of progress, to want to do away with old designs, laws, policies, or institutions that no longer help. To think, perhaps, that the people who made them weren't maybe as smart as we are, or seeing things in the right way. Yet institutions, policies, or fences weren't usually made by accident — they require effort and action, even putting up a fence.
Chesterton's fence, after GK Chesterton, is a reminder that before we remove the old and perhaps replace it with the new, we would do well to at least understand why the original was put in place.
Once we understand why the fence was there in the first place, if we still think it's of no use, then by all means pull it down.
Article:
What’s a “Tiny” Win?
“Celebrate the tiny wins.”
You’ve undoubtedly heard this productivity advice before.
But rarely does anyone explain what a “tiny” win actually is, how it’s different from a big win, or why you should bother celebrating it at all.
So let us be the first, perhaps, to break it down for you!
- 🎁 We tend to celebrate outcomes rather than effort.
- 🥞 Big wins, like graduating, are rare — but tiny wins, like studying, stack up daily.
- 🕵 Noticing the tiny wins builds momentum and motivation, even when you feel like you’re not doing enough.
The main reason you should try to notice your small victories?
Recognising tiny wins teaches your brain to link action with reward.
Which means you’ll get a small hit of happy chemicals every time you study, instead of waiting until graduation day to celebrate.
With this in mind, what are some more examples of tiny wins in other areas of life?
🏅 Real-Life Examples of Tiny Wins
🎓 Work/School
- Studying or working for any length of time
- Making a better grade on an exam than you thought you would
- Getting positive or uplifting feedback from one of your mentors
🏡 Home
- Cleaning a small part of your kitchen (instead of the whole room)
- Eating a new food you’ve always wanted to try
- Gathering all your dirty laundry into one pile
🧖 Self-Care
- Listening to your body and resting when you’re tired or sick
- Learning something new from an article or video
- Spending quality time with a friend or loved one
Now that you know what “counts” as a tiny win, how do you actually go about celebrating them?
🥳 5 Ways to (Actually) Celebrate Your Tiny Wins
🖼️ Reframe what counts as a “win”
Answered one email? Win.
Got out of bed? Win.
Texted back a friend you’ve been (accidentally) ignoring for two weeks? Win.
Different days will bring different wins — so don’t be too hard on yourself, especially on low-energy days. Remember, these wins are called “tiny” for a reason!
🎖️ Swap your to-do list for a “done list”
Instead of writing down things you still have to do, write down stuff you’ve already done.
We call this planning in reverse.
It helps you see just how much work and effort you’ve already put in, which makes celebrating a lot easier.
💼 Know the difference between tasks and projects
That “one task” you’ve been meaning to do?
It might actually be a project with multiple steps and phases.
If you think about an entire project as “one task”, you’ve definitely breezed past a bunch of milestones that deserve to be celebrated.
🤳 Share your wins
Celebrating is a lot more fun with friends. Send a text, post a pic of your win on social media.
You might be surprised at how uplifted you’ll feel from other people’s comments and reactions!
🥳 Make it fun
A tiny win deserves a tiny celebration. And it means you don’t have to spend a ton of time or money on something fancy.
Some of our favourite celebration cues:
- 🧁 A snack
- 🚶 A quick walk
- 🃏 A 5-minute game, like mahjong or solitaire
Book Recommendation:
Biased: Uncovering the Hidden Prejudice That Shapes What We See, Think, and Do
– March 3, 2020 by Jennifer L. Eberhardt PhD
"Poignant....important and illuminating."—The New York Times Book Review
"Groundbreaking."—Bryan Stevenson, New York Times bestselling author of Just Mercy
From one of the world’s leading experts on unconscious racial bias comes stories, science, and strategies to address one of the central controversies of our time
How do we talk about bias?
How do we address racial disparities and inequities?
What role do our institutions play in creating, maintaining, and magnifying those inequities? What role do we play?
With a perspective that is at once scientific, investigative, and informed by personal experience, Dr. Jennifer Eberhardt offers us the language and courage we need to face one of the most significant and most troubling issues of our time. She exposes racial bias at all levels of society—in our neighbourhoods, schools, workplaces, and criminal justice system. Yet she also offers us tools to address it. Eberhardt shows us how we can be vulnerable to bias but not doomed to live under its grip. Racial bias is a problem that we all have a role to play in solving.
Why Bias Matters
Every one of us is biased. Our minds are wired to take shortcuts, to go with gut reactions, and to avoid the hard work of deep thinking. Daniel Kahneman, Nobel Prize-winning psychologist, called this System 1 (fast, automatic, intuitive) and System 2 (slow, deliberate, effortful). Because our brains naturally conserve energy, we default to System 1 — our “Autopilot.” The trouble is, Autopilot often leads us astray.
AI, like ChatGPT, can either help or hinder. If we use it carelessly, it simply reflects our biases back to us, creating an echo chamber. If we use it thoughtfully, it can act as a “second brain,” challenging us to think more clearly and see what we’ve overlooked.
Five Common Traps to Watch For
Confirmation Bias
- Trap: Asking questions that simply confirm what we already believe.
- Better approach: Ask, “What perspectives, risks, or counterarguments should I consider that I might be overlooking?”
Halo Effect
- Trap: Letting one strong impression (positive or negative) colour all our judgments.
- Better approach: Ask, “What might my first impression be blurring or exaggerating? What are the pros and cons when I look more objectively?”
Planning Fallacy
- Trap: Underestimating time, effort, or risk, and overestimating benefits.
- Better approach: Ask, “What steps, pitfalls, and delays do people usually face in similar projects? Where might this plan get stuck?”
Availability Heuristic
- Trap: Believing something is more common or important just because it’s vivid, recent, or memorable.
- Better approach: Ask, “What wider data or trends would give me a clearer picture beyond my most recent experiences?”
Anchoring Effect
- Trap: Letting the first number or piece of information we hear set the benchmark.
- Better approach: Ask, “What range or comparisons should I consider so I don’t let one number overly influence me?”
Practical Guidance for Parents and Teachers
- Pause and Reflect: Before asking AI (or even before making a quick judgment in daily life), pause. Is your question already loaded with the answer you want?
- Reframe the Question: Instead of “Am I right?” ask, “What am I missing?”
- Build in Counterarguments: Encourage children and students to practise this too — for example, when they form opinions in class, ask them to name at least one alternative view.
- Model Humility: Show learners that being wrong or revising our views is not a weakness but a strength. It signals genuine thinking.
Use AI Wisely: A single guiding instruction can change the way we interact with these tools:
“Act as a second brain that helps me think more clearly. Don’t just agree with me — show me what I might be missing.”
Key Takeaway
Our biggest blind spots are often invisible to us. AI can either amplify these biases or help us overcome them. The difference lies in how we use it. For both adults and children, the lesson is the same: stay humble, ask better questions, and embrace challenge instead of comfort. In doing so, we teach our learners — and remind ourselves — to think more deeply, more critically, and more wisely.