Student Wellbeing

How to Help Your Child Cope with Unkind Behaviour 

I recently read an article from Big Life Journal from founder and child psychologist, Alexandra Eidens, on how to help your children deal with unkind behaviour from other children.  Dealing with bullying can really heat things up for us parents, but Alexandra helps provide some useful strategies and responses to help equip you to assist your child with gaining a greater understanding and empathy for what the perpetrator may be experiencing, to not take the comments personally and to help build resilience,  using a strategy known as perspective-taking.

 

Alexandra tells, 

Recently, my child shared that an older kid was giving him a hard time.  

How did I respond?

First, I asked him to tell me the whole story. I wanted him to feel heard, and I also needed to understand how serious the situation was.

Once he got it all out and felt a bit better, I asked him one important question:

"What does it tell us about that kid?" 

My son paused for a moment.

"He often gets in trouble," he replied unsure.

“That makes sense, right?” I said. "When someone isn't kind, it often means they're going through some challenges themselves.

"This doesn't excuse his behavior, and I want you to keep your teacher and me informed if it continues. Just remember, the way he acts says everything about him and nothing about you."

I could see my son relax.  Teaching kids that unkind behavior usually reflects more on the other person than on them can help them cope. 

Alexandra advises to keep one thing in mind:  If things get worse and turn into bullying, you might need to get more involved or seek help from teachers, coaches or other adults who look after your child and the child bullying them. 

 

Attached is a useful parenting guide which includes more tips on how to help your child handle unkind behavior: