Deputy Principal

An important conversation we must have.

Over the last few weeks, I have taken the opportunity to speak to all year groups at the College about respectful relationships. I have had a consistent message although changed my delivery to be mindful of the age-appropriate development of our students. I took the opportunity to talk to the boys about Lilie James, the young St Andrew’s School Sport Coach who went to work one day and never came home after she was killed by her ex-partner. In that week, it was reported that six women had lost their lives because of domestic violence.

I reinforced to our students that I am not labelling them or myself as males and as bad people and it was not their fault that she had died, but that it is up to us and indeed up to them to make a difference as the next generation of young males who have the ability to change things. As parents/carers we have the responsibility to role model respectful relationships. While there are always going to be arguments and disagreements between couples, we need to ensure that we are role modelling this in a respectful way.

I reinforced to the students that it is never acceptable to be violent against a woman. It is never acceptable to raise our hand and hit our partners. It is never acceptable to swear at our partners or talk in a way that demeans them. I told the students that the challenge for them as they grow up is to call out the poor behaviour of their mates. As they get older and they start to have partners and go out socially, the challenge for them is to call out their mates from a young age if they are ever disrespectful towards a female. When factors such as alcohol and emotions get mixed up, sometimes things can get out of control, and this is where their mates need to step in and call out their poor behaviour. 

I reinforced with the students that it is not up to them to make girls feel uncomfortable about what they are wearing. Girls have the right to wear what they want in this country. While we can have opinions about that, it is not up to our boys to voice their opinion to a girl to make them feel demeaned.

I think it is only getting harder to raise our sons and daughters in a world where they are being judged daily on social media. What hasn’t changed though is the importance of clear role modelling from us as parents and carers, and the clear messaging that must come from us to our children about respectful relationships and consent. No family should ever have to go through what Lilie James’s family is going through. Sadly, this is happening daily in Australia, and we must empower our young men to stand up and make a difference. 

As we head into this Christmas season, I would like to thank all staff for their dedicated hard work and ongoing commitment to all our young men of the College, both in the classroom and out on the sporting fields, to our parents and carers and to the wider St Patrick’s community for your ongoing support throughout 2023. I do hope you all find time to rest well, and I look forward to the new opportunities and challenges that await us all in 2024. May the blessings of Christmas be with you and your families and may you all enjoy a safe, happy, and healthy New Year.

Adrian Byrne

Deputy Principal