Counsellors Corner 

When to Worry: What's Normal and What's Not

Adolescent years are a time of intense change. Brains are remodelling, hormones are surging, & identities are forming. We expect ups & downs. But if our once-chatty teen suddenly goes quiet & is unwilling to come out of their room, we worry. If our once easy-going tween is erupting in screaming fits & fights that just aren't their usual style, we worry. There are a whole range of uncomfortable & inconvenient moods & behaviours that are developmentally normal in adolescents.

We know they're on track if they:

• Are showing signs of wanting control & independence
• Have their own ideas & values
• Move from anger to sadness when faced with things they can't control

It's also typical for them to have:

• Difficulty sleeping
• Care more about what peers think
• Resist micromanaging advice

How can you help?

• Stay available without pressure
• Be willing to listen without fixing

E.g. "I noticed you seem quiet lately. Want to talk, or not? Both are ok, I just want to let you know I'm here".

Leanne Miller

College Counsellor

Exploring Together through Play

Some Basic Tenets of Play

• Children learn through play
• Play is spontaneous & voluntary
• Is a child's form of communication & expression
• Is a natural expression of all healthy children
• Is developmentally appropriate
• Is how friendships are formed
• Is how we form connections with others

Why play? Play allows the child to express feelings and attitudes freely & honestly about self, others and events.

• It also helps regulate their autonomic nervous system.
• The power of play is seeing the world through the child's eyes.
• Being curious - 'I wonder... how does it feel when...?
• Being connected in an authentic way.
• Meet them where they are.
• Communicate understanding.
• Communicate that you see their big feelings (without yelling)
• Communicate that you hear what they are saying (You don't have to agree)

• You Turn (what is coming up for you when they are in their big feelings?)

   

These principles apply to older children as well as those who are young.

Leanne Miller

College Counsellor