SJN Newsletter

WELLBEING & LEARNING DIVERSITY

Friendships

How to be a good friend is as big a question as how do we have good friends. Perhaps the two go together. In this newsletter, we explore the ideas of resilience, peer pressure and what it means to have — and be — a good friend.

 

As children move through primary school, their friendships become more important than ever (and especially as they go through secondary school). The older they get, the more they seem to be figuring out their identity, working out who they are and what they’re about, and along with this they may face pressure to fit in. (That’s not to say younger children don’t also feel these sorts of pressures.)

 

As children are figuring out who they are and where they’re headed, their friends play a big role in shaping their confidence, choices, and values.

 

How to talk about it

Ask about their friendships. Encouraging them to consider what it is that they value in a friend (ie the qualities: kindness, funniness, silliness, generosity or something else) makes them think about what types of friends they would like to have. It also helps them reflect on what makes a friendship feel good and safe.

 

🗣️ ‘Who do you like hanging out with the most at school? What do you like about them?’

 

You might get answers like ‘they play with me,’ ‘they share,’ or ‘they're kind to me."‘ Those are great starting points! You can build on this by explaining that good friends:

 

 

 ✅ Are kind and caring – They listen, say nice things, and help when someone is upset.

 ✅ Take turns and share – Friendships work best when both people feel valued.

 ✅ Are honest and trustworthy – They tell the truth and keep promises.

 ✅ Respect feelings and boundaries – They understand that everyone has different likes, dislikes, and emotions.

 ✅ Support each other – A good friend celebrates your successes and cheers you up when you're feeling down.

 

Ask your child:

 

  🗣️‘Can you think of a time when someone was a really good friend to you?’

 

This helps them reflect on positive experiences and recognise the importance of kindness and respect in friendships. Having the above conversation also helps them recognise healthy friendships.

 

It’s also a good idea to talk about how being a good friend means having good friends. That we can’t expect someone to be a good friend to us if we aren’t treating them the same way in return. When there is imbalance in a friendship, or different values or expectations, that’s one way that people can become unhappy.

 

Another thing to mention is that friendships can change, and that’s okay. Sometimes we stop being friends with someone for a range of reasons. We can grow apart, start having different ideas or find there is less in common with that person. Again, this is fine. No one needs to keep being friends with someone if they don’t want to, but it’s the how we stop being friends that’s important. You can read more about that in this blog post here, via urstrong.

 

Peer pressure

Try raising the topic of peer pressure in a gentle way that invites their ideas and opinions:

 

 🗣️ ‘What would you do if a friend dared you to do something you weren’t comfortable with?’

 

If they’re unsure, help them think through different responses, like:

  • ‘No thanks, I don’t want to.’
  • ‘I don’t feel right about that.’
  • ‘I don’t want to get into trouble.’
  • ‘That’s not really my thing.’

You can also remind them that real friends respect their boundaries:

 

 🗣️ ‘A true friend won’t get mad if you say no to something. If someone makes you feel guilty or pressured or bad, that’s a sign they might not be a great friend.’

 

Building resilience & strong friendships

Resilience means being able to handle challenges, disappointments, and social pressures without giving in or losing confidence. Kids need to know that even if a friendship doesn’t work out, they will be okay.

 

You can ask them:

 

 🗣️ ‘Has there ever been a time when you felt left out or like a friend wasn’t being kind?’ Listen and validate their feelings, then help them problem-solve:

  • ‘What do you think you could do next time?’
  • ‘How did you handle it? Would you do anything differently?’
  • ‘What kind of friend do you want to be to others?’ Encourage them to build friendships with others who respect them, and to be that kind of friend in return.

Teach them that they can say no, and how to do it

 

 ✅Teach them how to say no. Practise different ways they can turn down someone who’s putting pressure on them to do something they don’t want to.

✅ Encourage a mix of friendships. Friends from different activities help them build confidence, and also means that they have a range of people they can hang out with.

✅ Let them know you’re always there to talk. Even if they don’t open up right away, they’ll remember your support.

 

By having these open, ongoing conversations, you help your child develop confidence, independence, and decision-making skills. They may not always seem like they’re listening—but trust us, they are. 💛

Cyber Safety Information Evening - Preston Police

SAVE THE DATE | Free Event

When: Tuesday 23rd June 2025

Time:  6-7pm

Location: St Joseph’s School. Northcote

 

Senior Constable Andy Moreton will attend St Joseph's to support our families with online Cyber Safety. The session will run for approximately one hour. The presentation will:

  • Provide information on what young people SEE, SAY and DO online, challenges they might face and how to get help if something goes wrong.
  • Highlight and promote safe and responsible online behaviours.
  • Empower parents with the tools to be confident in managing the challenges associated with technology use.
  • Focus on the challenges that can impact online safety for young people, as well as providing tools to take action

Please contact Bella Zachariouakis at: bzacharioudakis@sjnorthcote.catholic.edu.au if you have any questions.