Principal's Message

Father's Day

With Fathers’ Day upon us this Sunday, once again our attention will turn to the important role that fathers, grandfathers and other significant male figures play within families and our wider community. This role has certainly been highlighted and celebrated as part of the Year 9 Becoming Men program, and as part of a range of focus activities found within our various College Formation programs. In our fast-paced world, where being time-poor increasingly seems to be the norm, the traditional role of the father is increasingly contextualised amidst the busy ways of modern life. However, the important relationships that fathers form with their children has not changed and remains most valuable. Fathers’ Day is a timely reminder for us all to focus on the special and unique relationship that fathers have with their children, both sons and daughters. 

Child Development Specialists suggest that the ‘language of Fatherhood’ is about activity and creating special memories. When children are younger, dads are often viewed as the ‘all action figure’ that relates to their children through activity and play. Put simply, dads teach many important lessons through being actively involved with their children, particularly their sons. Learning to be a good sport, to share, to play fair, to plan and to value teamwork are lessons that fathers tend to teach their children in very hands-on ways. Researchers suggest that it is through things such as playing sport, wrestling, tinkering and fixing that children learn from and form relationships with their fathers. While not seeking to overly generalise, the same researchers suggest that mothers tend to interact with their children a little differently. They communicate more verbally, develop interpersonal skills and relate more emotionally with their children. Put simply, mothers are good at being mums and we should all be grateful for that! Fathers are good at being dads and we should be equally grateful for that!

This does not change in adolescence. Teenage children, both sons and daughters still value time and activities with their fathers. Michael Grose, a leading parenting educator and author of the highly respected Parenting Ideas series, says that the effectiveness of a father’s relationship with their adolescent children is dependent on the quality, not necessarily the quantity, of their first-hand interactions with their children. He suggests that it is through shared activity and direct involvement in their children’s lives, that fathers create important relationships and build up ‘Frequent Father Points’. Of fathers he states, “… it is more about their presence (being around) and less about their presents (gifts)”. The challenge that we all have as fathers in our busy world is creating such opportunities to bank some of these Points.  

The unique nature of a father’s relationship with their daughter is equally important.  The notion of a father who is present, available and attentive affords a sense of security and assists in the healthy development of self-esteem and confidence of a young girl during their adolescent years. Encouraging words, praise and affirming commentary from a father have great currency in a girl’s world. For girls, their father is also the first introduction and primary role model of men in their world, so it is important that fathers treat their daughters with gentleness and respect, but also encourage them to be assertive and aspirational. In a sense, fathers teach their daughters how they should expect to be respected as they develop. Similarly, fathers teach their sons how to be respectful, loyal and the importance of integrity. What a wonderful privilege and an important responsibility.

Other celebrated authors such as Steve Biddulph and Tim Hawkes have emphasised the important role of fathers in being an example and ‘voice of reason’ in a world that is increasingly driven by social media and advancements in technology. They suggest that the current generation of young people are in dire need of some old-fashioned, very grounded fatherly advice such as, ‘Don’t get ahead of yourself’, ‘Treat others with respect at all times’ and ‘Think before you speak/tweet/post/snapchat anything …about anyone’. Fathers have a very important role in both showing the way and in correcting the way. It is an important reminder that children, particularly boys, need good men around them to model how to relate, how to behave and how to live a good life. 

As Fathers’ Day is celebrated on Sunday, and father- figures and grandfathers are ‘spoiled’ for the day, it may be a timely reminder for all the dads to look for ways to spoil ourselves (and our children more often) by spending regular and quality time with them - just being Dad.

I trust that we will all make some time to make a fuss of the fathers and father-figures in our lives. Happy Fathers’ Day.

Live Jesus in our Hearts

Mr Darren O’Neill

Principal