Winter Book Club

Chapter 6:Why Social Media Harms Girls More Than Boys

My experience of attending a girls-only high school, of being a parent to boys and a girl and of being an educator over a significant number of years, so much of what I read in this chapter rang true. I think the message of the chapter is that there are characteristics more likely to appear in girls or women that make them more vulnerable to the negative impacts of social media, as it amplifies issues that occur in the real world. Social comparisons and judgements, relational aggression, emotional contagion are part of ‘life’ but these become incredibly heightened when girls have hours of access to social media.

Throughout the chapter, I was thinking about what I want for my daughter, for my nieces, for the girls in the school, and what I don’t want for them. I want them to have positive relationships with a wide range of different people and to have some deep, enduring friendships with those with whom they make a special connection. I want them to learn how to resolve issues without them becoming so problematic or that there is no road back by being escalated through a digital platform.

I want them to try a whole range of different experiences, with photos and videos to capture memories for years to come, without thinking about where those photos might end up or how they might be used or whether they need editing. If there is ever a time when their achievements are celebrated online, I especially don’t want them torn down by ‘haters’.

I want them to be comfortable in their person, their bodies and their appearance, but that's not where their worth lies.

I want them to know they are a special creation, that they were carefully knitted together and have been known by God since the beginning of time. I want them to know they are so deeply loved that the Lord of the universe did not spare His only Son, so that they could have the full life for which they were created.

For us to realise the above for our girls is a challenge. Social media undermines our efforts even more. As my daughter enters adulthood, would I do some things differently? Yes! I would delay her access to an internet-accessible device. I would add extra parental controls. I would use her older brother’s digital prowess to support me in this. Maybe I missed the warning messages when she was younger. Maybe they were not as loud. Maybe after three sons who had no interest in devices or in social media, I assumed that it would not be an issue for us.

I hope that through our book club with Daniel Sih last year and this one in 2024 that some parents of pre-teens in particular will consider the importance of waiting as long as possible.

Jodie Bennett

Principal