Chaplain's Spot

Reclaiming Childhood

I wonder what your major concerns are for children these days. I am certain that these will vary across the school, depending on our own circumstances, and how we are ‘travelling’ in our parental role. Without doubt, there are many different perspectives affecting our parenting, including how our parents did/didn’t parent us. I grew up in a loving home when I was young, but my parents split up after I finished High School, and when I was looking forward to being a parent, I definitely wanted to be more involved with our kids than my Dad had been. 

I recently re-read ‘Their Name is Today: Reclaiming Childhood in a hostile world’, by Johann Christoph Arnold. I would like to share some quotes from his book, citing the original creators of these quotes. 

1] One chapter is entitled ‘Great Expectations’. Here is something that he shared written by Paul Tough.

“I’m more concerned about my child’s character [than academic results]. I want them to be able to get over disappointments, to calm themselves down, to keep working on something when it’s frustrating, to be good at sharing, to feel loved and confident, to be full of a sense of belonging, and most importantly, to be able to deal with failure.”

Great ideals! One would hope that every parent or carer would desire this for the children under their care. We all want to nurture and build our children into well-balanced adults, able to survive and even thrive in our world. However, there are many pressures in life that might override this dream. At times we are merely on survival mode, and it can be difficult to keep the long-term goal in mind. Keeping open minds can help us see new strategies that can keep us on track. 

2] Another writer he quotes is Jessica Lahey. This section is headed ‘Why parents need to let their children fail’. You may not initially like this idea, but she follows it up like this.

“I have worked with many parents who are so overprotective of their children, that they don’t learn to take responsibility [and the natural consequences] of their actions.  The children may develop a sense of entitlement.”

Sometimes when we try to protect our children in society, we lose the ‘cause and effect’, and ‘actions and consequences’ aspects of life, which everyone needs to learn, to assist us in making mature decisions. 

3] The third quote is drawn from Johann’s ‘Screening Out’ chapter. He writes “It’s time for us to look at the ‘clever’ devices in our lives. When we sit down texting, while our children play alone; when we send emails while they are around, we’re telling them that something is more important than them. We can talk about the tech addictions of children and teens, but the problem might start at home.” Johann suggests that we ‘put down the device, and take our children by the hand’.

I must admit that I often see adults more focussed on their phones as they walk along with their children in tow. As a Chaplain, I know the importance of ‘being present in the moment’. I would like to say to these adults ‘please really see your children, notice them, and connect with them. They are more important than the news, or the weather, or the latest sporting or celebrity news.

4] The final quote I would like to share is from Henry Ward Beecher. This states, “There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children. One of these is roots, the other wings.”

I love this quote – it talks about the dual responsibility of us as we nurture and develop our children. They need the roots to hold them safely and firm, such as family, faith, strong community connections. They also need to grow the wings of independence, to prepare them for the ‘big wide world out there’. 

I trust that the walk through this topic has been beneficial for you. We are never too old to learn new perspectives, from others who have journeyed down similar paths. 

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Things I am thankful for:

Here is the next instalment of things in life for which people are most thankful. Last time, I featured Friends, Having Food, and Freedom. 

The next 3 are: 

Family – strong family relationships are significant to a person’s overall well-being.

Simple pleasures – nature, laughter, a walk in the park, rainbows etc. etc. 

Love – to be able to love and be loved is the most important interaction in the world.

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Toast Tuesday: Our free Toast Tuesday program will run again each week in Term 4 until December 3rd, from 8.30 until the first bell for the start of school. 

Remember, we also have our second-hand uniform stock available for gold coin donations. Come and see us on Tuesday mornings, as well as at assembly every second Friday. Thanks to the families who have recycled unneeded uniform items for use by other families.

We have a few small items for next year’s Preps. To make the transition easier. Feel free to get in early and check them out for your friends, or yourself. 

Contact: Feel free to email me, phone me or see me at school on my days listed below.

Alan Silverwood: Chaplain - Pastoral care for our community. [Tuesday, Friday]

[alan.silverwood@education.vic.gov.au] Supporting the School community in emotional, social, spiritual and practical wellbeing. 

Our Chaplaincy program is funded by the Federal Government’s ‘National Student Wellbeing Program’, the GRPS School Council and donations.