Deputy Principal

Parenting – It is Not Getting Easier

In recent months, I have found myself in many conversations with parents, and a consistent theme has emerged: parenting feels harder than it once did. I do not believe this is because families care any less, nor because our young men are any less capable. Rather, I believe it is because the world they are growing up in is changing at a faster pace than when we grew up.

I see this most clearly in the influence of technology. Our young men now live in a world that is always “on.” The boundaries that once existed between school, home and social life are no longer as clear. Much of their interaction, their formation, and their sense of belonging is shaped in an online environment that never really switches off.

The Australian Bureau of Statistics reports that an increasing number of children are now spending more than 20 hours per week engaged in screen-based activities. Other studies indicate that by early adolescence, many young people are spending more than three hours each day on screens, often exceeding recommended guidelines. (This does not include the time that they are spending on devices at school). When I reflect on these figures, I am reminded that for many of our boys, this is not a small part of their life, it is a significant environment in which they are growing up.

I believe the role of parents has never been more important. It is clear we must set boundaries around technology. I know I have written about it before, and you may be sick of reading about it, however, I believe it is too important not to reiterate. 

Another area where parenting is becoming harder is in the social circles that our children mix in. I often say to parents that one of the most significant aspects of parenting is their willingness to make difficult decisions. There are moments when you must step in, even when it is uncomfortable. There are times when you may question the friendships your son is forming or the influences that are shaping him. In those moments, it is not only appropriate to act, but also necessary.

I have seen, both professionally and personally, that not every friendship brings out the best in our children. Adolescence is a time when boys are heavily influenced by their peers, and while many friendships are positive, some can lead them away from the values that you and the College are trying to instil in them. As parents, setting boundaries around who your son spends time with, where he goes, and what he is exposed to is part of the responsibility we all carry.

I know these decisions are not easy. They can create tension. They can lead to disagreement. At times, they may even cause conflict within the home. However, I would suggest that this is not a sign of poor parenting, it is often a sign of good parenting.

We can feel that good parenting should always feel smooth or harmonious. Your children do not always have the maturity to recognise what is best for them, particularly when peer pressure is involved. They rely on us, as adults, to guide them, to hold firm, and to make the calls that they are not yet equipped to make for themselves.

I would encourage parents to trust their instincts. You know your son better than anyone else. You understand his personality, his strengths, and his vulnerabilities. If something does not sit right with you, whether it is his online habits, his friendships, or changes in behaviour, you must pay attention to that feeling.

Parenting in today’s world is complex; I understand that, having three children myself. However, I also see the profound impact that strong, thoughtful and courageous parenting has on our students. In partnership with the College, your role in shaping your son’s character, values and judgement remain central. If we continue to work together, we will get the best outcomes for your son.

Thank you for the trust you place in us, and for the care and commitment you continue to show in partnership with us at the College.

Adrian Byrne

Deputy Principal