Deputy Principal

The Dilemma of Discomfort

It is long but please stay with me to the end!

Many of our students know my love of the book ‘Atomic Habits’ by James Clear.  It is a two-times New York Times bestseller for a reason. I simply love it.  There is not an easier way to start a new habit or break one that is not working for you than the plan recommended by Clear. I subscribe to his weekly email that drops into my inbox each Friday.  As I pondered about what to write this week, I opened my email on Friday 11th and stumbled on this:

"Practice the art of small daily discomforts. Modern life is optimised for convenience and comfort. Your food can be delivered straight to your door. Your car seats can be heated. Your favourite show is available at the press of a button.

We all enjoy convenience and comfort, myself included. But our bodies and souls yearn for challenge. We want to be stretched. A deeper satisfaction awaits after pushing yourself to learn a challenging concept or complete a humbling workout or have an important but difficult conversation.

Should the whole day feel difficult? No, I don't think that's necessary. But a good day — a meaningful and fulfilling day — requires small moments of discomfort. Growth demands discomfort. We need something to push against to learn how strong we can become."

James Clear 3-2-1 Thursday 10 July 2025

This is personally relevant for me. I have a new habit to be stronger, more flexible and fitter for the sake of my heart, bones and general wellbeing.  (There, I have told the universe, so I must stick to it now!) I have joined a gym.  It has been daunting. Working out next to young, fit and flexible humans is not something I relish in. The machines look complicated. Which weight? Which class?  How do I secure the back row so no one sees me as I work all this out? It has taken a great deal of courage to actually show up.

James Clear’s methods have helped enormously: make it simple, be consistent and create a system that supports the goal. So, I am slowly getting past my apprehension. I am pre-booking classes on the app that help with turning up. I have be-friended a personal trainer who has given me advice, knows me by name and face lights up when I show up.  My gym bag is pre-packed so I can now grab and go. I have not created a deadline – I’ve created a schedule.  The discomfort is very real! I know it is worth it. I have even mixed up my regular dog walk choosing to turn right instead of straight to avoid the flat and add the northside hills into the mix. My ever-faithful Heidi is enjoying the change of scenery too.

For our young people, they do not know a car without power-steering; a room without air-conditioning nor the hassle (or joy!) of shuffling through a CD tower to find a music choice.

I agree with James…we all enjoy convenience and comfort. However, it is not these moments when we grow. In a previous life as a pharmaceutical rep, I used to be able to reverse park with precision in shopping centre car parks driving a Falcon GL station wagon filled to the brim with promotional stock and display cartons. No reverse cameras nor beeps. Just side mirrors. It was tricky. It took practise. 

We cannot ask our girls to go back in time to experience our moments of discomfort. (To be honest, I have no yearning to return to driving a car without power-steering, air con and the beeps that keep me safe!) What we can do is navigate and understand what discomfort is for them; have them know that not all discomfort is bad and to be avoided; and that we are here for them to assist in managing life through that discomfort when it is needed.  Returning to Clear:  But our bodies and souls yearn for challenge. We want to be stretched. Even though, at times, it does not feel this way.

The words ‘grow’ and ‘challenge’ are synonymous with schools. I liken the Prep year as the equivalent of the first year of life. In their first year of life, infants grow from entirely dependent beings to eating, drinking, moving, in-context emotions and sometimes even walking. In Prep, our children arrive with limited knowledge of reading, writing, mathematics or phonics. In that first year they have mastered simple maths, sight words, writing their name and begin reading books independently. (I think Prep Teachers are the most important of all!) Each year of school adds to the toolkit – more difficult maths, science, geography, history – and all the while developing critical thinking, problem-solving and inquiry. Bodies grow too. At Mt A, we watch Year 7 girls grow into accomplished and world-ready young women.

Not all this growth comes naturally. There is discomfort learning to walk, learning to read and learning in general. We would never prevent our babies from landing on their bottom each time they attempted to walk. We relish in it…we even film it! So, at what point do we switch from delighting from the discomfort of growth to working so hard to remove any discomfort from the lives of our children? Discomfort has many guises. A difficult maths equation. A disappointing result on an exam. A friendship wobble. An unattainable personal best time. A challenging music piece. Regret for a photo posted on social media in haste.  Fear of letting down a team or letting down themselves. Sometimes the discomfort arrives despite concerted effort. Sometimes it arrives due to a lack of effort on their part and rightly so.

There is much that Mt A and families can do – in partnership – to build challenge and discomfort as growth moments in our girls. At Mt A, we offer ‘high challenge and high support’ in our classrooms. It is written in bold in both our teaching and learning frameworks. We want our girls to reach for the stars (aspiring, authentic, audacious) and to know they have the backing of their teachers when the effort is there.  Our MyMtA class and course pages allow for self-direction and inquiry.  Our ‘Tell Them From Me’ survey results from students in 2024 tells us it is the first place they go when they struggle academically. Our teachers and educational wellbeing leaders will challenge them when they make an individual choice to skirt around our College values that have been determined by what is best for our community. (Their future employers will too.) In times of personal crisis, our Homeroom Mentor Teachers, Heads of House and Counsellors offer space and time for consolation and the question that often follows is ‘what do you think should happen next?’ This question ensures they are part of the solution – it is not for someone else to solve.  When they are part of the solution, growth happens.

To work in true partnership, we ask our families to try these strategies when your daughter arrives home after a tough day:

• Do not tell your daughter you will fix it. Consider using our question: ‘What do you think should happen next?’ Talk with your daughter about her ideas to address things and add your advice in the process. Wherever possible, let your daughter manage the solution.
• Continue to the circle the conversation to the solution or way forward rather than ruminating over the issue. The light on the other side is so much brighter when we point towards it.
• We discourage parents from excusing their daughters from detentions of which we have strict protocols of when they are applied.  We do not hand them out lightly. If you wish to query a detention, we ask that you speak with the Head of House or Head of Faculty who has issued it to find out the complete picture.  Friday afternoon detentions and their impact on family schedules are part of the student understanding the wider impact of their individual choice.
• Let us know! If your daughter is worried about her English oral presentation to the whole class or nervous about a HPE Prac, please do not excuse her from these moments. When we know, the support is palpable! Please pick up the phone to her teacher. Let’s talk and walk this together.
• Household chores and expectations at home are good ways for your daughter to contribute to your community. Even during their busy times like exam blocks. Busy times should not be a reason to be excused from expectations.  They may become more organised and focussed in the process. Growth!

It is wonderful to see our campus filled with students after a 3-week break.  I hope they all have a tremendous term.

Every blessing,

Michelle Licina

Deputy Principal Student Development and Wellbeing (Acting)