Student Wellbeing 

Listen up

Given all the listening that we do, you would think we'd be good at it! In fact, most of us are not, and research suggests that we only remember between 25 percent and 50 percent of what we hear (E. Dale, “Cone of Experience”).

Jesus thinks it’s important to listen, to listen to Him and also to listen to each other.

Revelation 3:20 (HCSB) states, “Listen, I stand at the door, and knock, if any man hears my voice, and opens the door, I will come in to him, and will eat with him, and he with me.” 

Another version from the Bible says, “Look at me” and another version says “Behold”. This verse is talking about listening to God’s voice and joining Him in relationship. As we listen to others, we can’t help but draw closer to one another. 

God wants us to listen.  Listen with our ears. Listen with our heart.

Listening is a refined skill. Listening means truly stopping and focusing on what someone else is saying, not thinking about what you want to say next. Listening requires eye contact. It gives you the ability to repeat back what has been spoken, not in a way of just simply copying, but in your own words, paraphrased. This allows you to think of other words to describe what they have said. People feel truly heard when you can paraphrase them. You could ask a question to help clarify what they are saying by using open-ended questions, questions that can’t be answered with a yes or no. These questions usually start with “what” or “how”.

When people feel truly heard they feel loved, cared for, valued and respected. How do you feel when someone actually listens to you? Do you feel understood? Do you feel like you matter? Do you feel like what you have to say counts?

Good listening goes hand-in-hand with the mind-set of Christ (Philippians 2:5). It flows from a humble heart that counts others more significant than ourselves (Philippians 2:3). It looks not only to its own interests, but also the interests of others (Philippians 2:4). It is patient and kind (1 Corinthians 13:4).

How are you going with listening to your loved one’s day? Their dreams? Their hurts? Their hopes?

Luke 6:45 (NIV) says, “For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.”

If you're finding it particularly difficult to concentrate on what someone is saying, try repeating their words mentally as they say them. This will reinforce their message and help you to stay focused.

Are we intentionally practicing our listening skills? If this is not a habit of yours, then can I encourage you to put these listening skills into place and watch how others feel loved when you are actively listening.

God has given us one mouth and two ears after all.

Blessings, 

Melissa Rogers

Senior School Counsellor