Working in Partnership

Supporting Positive Friendships

It is not always easy for children to know how to manage friendships. Learning how to make new friends and keep them involves a number of skills every young person needs to understand and develop. For some, these skills will come very naturally, allowing them to easily move between different friendship groups, share their experiences, and open up to new people. For others, this can be much harder to navigate. Belonging to a group that is like-minded with similar interests is highly beneficial to a child’s well-being. Friendships are full of ups and downs, and it is better for kids to learn how to manage and build their own friendships, even though, as an adult carer, you may be tempted to interfere.

Tips for talking with your children about friendships

Choose relaxed moments to talk – Conversations often work best in informal settings, such as in the car, during a walk, or while sharing a meal, rather than in a formal “sit-down” discussion.
Show genuine interest – Ask open questions such as, “Who have you been spending time with lately?” or “What do you enjoy doing together?” rather than focusing only on problems.
Listen more than you speak – Give your child time to explain their experiences without interrupting or immediately offering solutions.
Stay calm and non-judgmental – Even if you feel concerned about a friendship, reacting strongly can make young people less likely to open up in the future.
Avoid criticising their friends – Negative comments about friends can feel personal to children and may shut down conversation.
Help them reflect rather than solve – Gentle questions such as, “How did that make you feel?” or “What do you think might help next time?” encourage problem-solving and independence.
Normalise friendship challenges – Let your child know that disagreements and friendship changes are a normal part of growing up.
Encourage perspective-taking – Help children consider different viewpoints by asking questions like, “How do you think your friend might have felt?”
Keep the door open – Let your child know they can come back to you anytime if things change or they need more support.

There may be times when your child experiences friendship difficulties, such as disagreements, misunderstandings or feeling left out. These experiences can be distressing, but they also provide opportunities for growth and learning. Supporting young people to develop problem-solving skills and resilience can help them manage future challenges with confidence.

At times, parents may notice signs that their child is struggling socially. Changes in mood, reluctance to attend school, withdrawal from usual activities, or frequent worries about friendships may indicate that additional support could be helpful. If concerns persist, it can be useful to seek guidance – speaking with your child’s teacher is a great place to start. Your child's teacher can then ask for advice or help from me/Wellbeing leader, or Steele or Evelyn.

Remember, School TV on our website is an amazing wellbeing tool with so much information and access to fantastic experts on many different well-being topics and can be accessed in the link below:

School TV: Friendship & belonging issue

Daliah McLougnhey (School Wellbeing Leader)