Pastoral Care
Understanding Gaming – A guideline for families and friends
Games are an integral part of human behaviour. It is normal and healthy for young people to engage in play as a part of their daily lives, including playing games online. Online communities are providing more opportunities to feel socially connected and gaming can help young people feel a sense of belonging. At healthy levels, gaming can increase self-esteem and social acceptance. It can also provide an opportunity for a structured daily routine and can be a fun and relaxing activity.
Any behaviour, when taken to extreme, can have a negative impact on a young person’s everyday life. Gaming can have both positive and negative outcomes, like most activities. The challenge for families is when should you be concerned about a young person’s gaming activities?
What are the warning signs?
Feeling down, tense, angry, anxious or moody are all normal emotions, but when these feelings persist for long periods (some weeks) of time, and if they begin to interfere with daily life, they may be cause for concern. Often it can be hard to know the difference between normal behaviour, such as occasional moodiness and irritability, and an emerging mental health issues.
Keep an eye out for significant changes in your young person that last longer than you might expect (at least a few weeks), such as:
being less interested and involved in activities they would normally enjoy
changes in appetite or sleeping patterns
being easily irritated or angry
their performance at school, TAFE, university or work is not as good as it once was
involving themselves in risky behaviour they would usually avoid, such as taking drugs or drinking too much alcohol
difficulties with concentration or motivation
seeming unusually stressed or worried, or feeling down or crying for no apparent reason
expressing negative, distressing or out-of-character thoughts.
Good mental health allows people to deal with the changes and challenges life throws at them and live their lives in a positive and meaningful way. Just like physical fitness, mental fitness takes regular effort too.
How long should I let my young person play video games for?
In short there is no magic number or formula. As a rule, if a behaviour is having a negative impact on the young person’s life, then it’s a problem. Screen time should be limited to no more than two hours per day for 12-17 year olds. This generally doesn’t include purposeful screen time (activities that are interactive like work or school and in some cases gaming).
It’s also important to consider whether gaming or internet use is impacting on other areas of a young person’s life. Healthy behaviour relates to a young person engaging in a variety of activities and contexts (such as family time, friend time, alone time, and inside and outside activities). There are also certain activities that support a young person’s health and wellbeing, such as exercise and good quality sleep.
If the length of a young person’s gaming or internet use is stopping them from consistently engaging in a variety of other activities, affecting their sleep, hygiene or healthy eating, or being used as a way of avoiding necessary tasks (like schoolwork or studying), it may be a problem. It can be helpful to begin with general and open-ended questions such as
‘How is [e.g., school/sport/gaming] going?’
‘How are you getting on with [e.g., your friends/your siblings]?’
‘How are you feeling about [e.g., studying/exams]?’
To focus on more specific thoughts and feelings, try using ‘I/you’ statements such as:
‘I’m happy to talk or listen and see if I can help’
‘I’m here for you, and we can work it out together.’
‘It’s OK if you don’t want to talk to me, you could talk to [trusted/known adult]. I will keep letting you know I love you and that I’m here for you.’
Remember, a supportive family can make a big difference to how well a young person copes with challenges in their lives. The transition between childhood and adulthood is challenging for young people, their friends and families. ABC have an excellent program “Role of a Lifetime” which can be viewed on iview. A sitcom/ documentary about how to parent in the rapidly changing world using a family to play out parenting challenges which are then explored in the real world.
https://iview.abc.net.au/show/role-of-a-lifetime?utm_content=link&utm_medium=content_shared
TV Show Recommendation: "Role of a Lifetime"
"Role of a Lifetime" is a witty sitcom that tackles today’s parenting challenges with humor and insight. Each episode follows a family navigating issues like screen time and work-life balance, while also offering practical solutions for real-world parenting. This series is both entertaining and informative, making it a must-watch for parents looking for relatable, valuable guidance in today’s fast-paced world.
Watch free here:
https://iview.abc.net.au/show/role-of-a-lifetime?utm_content=link&utm_medium=content_shared
The Pastoral Care Team