EMPOWERING STUDENT WELLNESS
BOUNDARIES
By Matt Edwards (Secondary Chaplain)
I recall going four wheel driving as I was growing up, where my family would go into the Victorian high country. While we were there, we would also go for walks, sometimes where we were on a rocky mountain, and you could walk right up to the edge of a cliff, with no preventative protection around it. Sometimes, like with a cliff, the consequence of having a lack of boundaries can be potentially damaging. So how do we help our kids to navigate boundaries, and why they are there?
Broadly, boundaries can operate in two ways. To restrict and to protect. This may have been the case for you too, but when I was growing up, I mostly understood boundaries to be restrictive. Not that this was the case, but my perception was that they were. Particularly in the teenage years, this can be the outlook for many kids. But without boundaries, there can be a sense of being untethered. Like a boat that has been unmoored from a dock in the open ocean. It can potentially go anywhere. There is nothing preventing it from being kept away from stormy seas or rocky shores. And so, the protective boundaries that we advocate for in our children’s lives, are good!
But how can we help them to see the benefit of them? Well, firstly, their need for them. The amount of times I have told my son not to do something, and then realised that it was simply because it made my life easier, has been many! And secondly, the ‘why’ of the boundary needs to be clearly understood. It is the reason for the boundary in the first place! But it helps them to understand why it is there and why it should be respected. It also shows them how they can begin putting in place healthy boundaries that protect themselves.
Boundaries are actually deeply beneficial, if they are set in the right place, and are there for the right reasons. And I am sure that if you considered this yourself, you would see how this is true for you as well.
I know that this is challenging to navigate, but in doing so, our kids are being given skills to structure a healthy lifestyle. One that can give them comfort and security when they face difficulties in life, but also, one that doesn’t keep them from challenging themselves and exploring life with those around them.
For more information that explores this topic please follow the below links:
https://bhcs.vic.schooltv.me/newsletter-external-resource/balancing-screen-time
https://bhcs.vic.schooltv.me/content/blog/how-do-i-stop-my-kids-using-their-smart-phone-night
https://bhcs.vic.schooltv.me/newsletter-external-resource/strictly-parenting-dr-michael-carr-gregg
GETTING TO KNOW OUR WELLBEING TEAM
Keep an eye on this spot over the next editions and get to know our amazing wellbeing team!
Nolene Daniell (Pastoral Co-ordinator)
General Background? I was born in sunny South Africa and came to live in Melbourne 19 years ago with my hubby. I have 2 children, a girl & a boy, with the youngest one finishing school this year. I'm a social worker by trade and have worked in disadvantaged communities, family counselling organisations, as a youth worker and did a stint as a stay-at-home Mum. Across the years I've enjoyed camping, kayaking and bike riding with my family and exploring parts of the country.
When you were younger what did you want to be? Air Hostess
What was your first job or your most unusual job? My first job was in a Frozen Yoghurt Kiosk. We'd serve frozen yoghurt (looked like soft serve) to people. It was all quite new back then. In the winter we'd bake pancakes/crepes to sell.
What is your role and when did you commence at BHCS? I'm the Pastoral Care Co-ordinator and started at BHCS 5 years ago.
Best part about your job? Hearing people's stories and how unique everyone's journey is. Then from there on, encouraging people to use the strengths already present in their lives.
Hobbies? I love reading fiction and biographies. I've dabbled in all sorts of craft and scrapbooking is the one that has stuck for 20 years now.
When you think about Jesus, what comes to mind? My Redeemer and the One who never changes.
What is your favourite movie? It's sooo hard to pick as watching movies is a favourite pastime. Pride and Prejudice is one I've watched multiple times.
Favourite meal? Some sort of pasta.
Favourite holiday destination or place to visit? Anywhere with a beach really. Eden has been a memorable spot for our family over the years.
What are you passionate about? I am passionate about people doing better in life and love watching how creative mediums like music, art & drama enrich lives.
Life verse or motto: There is always hope.