Abbie Tiong, one of our parishoners and an Learning Support Officer at Good Shepherd School, shares her reflection on World Youth Day in Portugal

“Take up your cross and follow me”

From the Gospel of Matthew 16:24, Jesus said this to his disciples before his own crucifixion. Little did they know then of the immense sacrifice Jesus would take or of the many hardships they would later face in carrying out Jesus’ command of evangelisation. As time passed, these disciples slowly understood what Jesus had meant and would go on, in fact, carrying their own crosses for the Lord.

Just like these disciples, whose tombs I had the privilege of visiting, I too began to understand what it meant to take up your cross as I continued my pilgrimage in Italy and Portugal.

I have been very blessed, and it continues to be a blessing, to have attended this year’s World Youth Day (WYD) event in Lisbon, Portugal. In travelling with the Archdiocese of Melbourne, I had the opportunity of taking a pilgrimage through the ‘Italian Way’. This pathway took me to Rome and Assisi in Italy before heading to Fatima and Lisbon in Portugal, where we joined as a collective Melbourne group of over 500 youths for WYD. The Italian Way family consisted of 46 pilgrims which included two seminarians, two chaplains and our head chaplain, Bishop Martin Ashe.

Before I continue, I would like to express my deep gratitude and sincere thanks to all those who have made this pilgrimage possible. The experience I had there is not of my own, but one meant to be shared among you all.

In signing up to partake in WYD, there was a sense of security that I had felt. Travelling with a group of people to a foreign country while being spiritually challenged may sound intimidating but I was more than excited and eager to say the least. However, this excitement and assurance that I had felt soon faded away when I encountered difficulties with a core unit in my university degree a week prior to my departure. This unit was unable to accommodate my absence from university while I was away for WYD even with the approval of my course coordinator and with special consideration. At this point, I was presented with two options. 1) Attend WYD but take an intermission (study leave). This would mean graduating a whole year later with my course map completely changed as well as having all my course friends move on without me. 2) Not attend WYD and lose the money that was paid for the trip but most importantly, letting down the parish communities who have generously supported me.

As conflicting and devastating as it was, I made the decision to go on the pilgrimage. It was a decision that did bring me some tears and frustration and admittedly even now I sometimes struggle with finding peace in this choice. However, being there then as well as reflecting on it now, do I see and had saw the graces of God at work.

Being in Rome, surrounded by beautiful basilicas and churches, made it easy to forget the uncertainty and fear I had in halting my career. Or perhaps it was the 40-degree weather. Either way, our schedules would be so jam packed that we would be, as we liked to call it, ‘basilica hopping’. The day we first visited the Vatican City consisted of exploring the Vatican Museums, Sistine Chapel and St Peter’s Basilica. You could be there for days on end appreciating the intricacy of it all and you would still probably miss a detail. But we managed to fit this all in before visiting three other basilicas and the Holy Stairs (Scala Santa). As much as we did do, like on that day, there were always moments for prayer and reflection. It was in these moments that I felt most challenged. The silence of prayer came with difficulty because of all the questions that would flood through my mind. ‘Did I make the right decision coming here?’, ‘What would I do now that I’m not studying?’ or ‘What is my vocation in life?’. I was very much left to reflect on my own decision.

My perspective started to change at our visit to the Holy Stairs, which are the stairs that St Helena brought from Jerusalem. It is believed these were climbed by Jesus on his way to the trial before Pontius Pilate. These stairs could only be climbed up on the knees and in the process, praying would occur. In doing this, I mediated on Jesus’ sacrifice for us, putting myself in his position. He understood then and long before of the pain and suffering he would endure and yet, on those very stairs, he was already willing do it because of his love for us. I too learnt and was reminded of the sacrifices many of the saints had made in following Christ. We had the opportunity of visiting the Basilica of St Sebastian Outside the Walls and in going I learnt that he was shot several times with arrows as punishment for evangelising. Also, even St Peter to whom Jesus said, “you are Peter, and on this rock, I will build my Church” (Matthew 16:18), was martyred by being crucified upside down as he felt unworthy to die in the same manner as Jesus. The sacrifices these saints made because of their love for God and especially, the ultimate sacrifice Jesus made because of his love for us, made me think deeper and question the sacrifices I was making or was not making. Although sacrifice entails suffering, I can see now, the reassurance it has.

A blessing it was to have a private audience with Papa Francesco and in answering our questions, he said “The Lord is always by our side. Semper. Always”.

Assisi was a point of clarity for me, being surrounded by nature in all its peace and beauty. In walking around the Hermitage of Carceri, where St Francis of Assisi retreated for a while, it was the quietest I had felt in a long time. As I found myself in its nature part, there was a gentle breeze that blew past me and in it did I feel like the heatwave I was experiencing both physically and spiritually had passed. The Holy Spirit was very much at work then because, when we did our final reflection in Lisbon, there were others who had felt the presence of God in that gentle breeze. Now that night we gathered at the hotel chapel for reconciliation, praise and worship and reflection. I would normally hesitate about going to reconciliation as I do find it daunting but at that point, I was very open to it. In doing reconciliation, I had finally let go of the insecurity and anxiety I felt, and I began to cry. But in crying did I feel anew and clean. St Josemaria, founder of the Opus Dei order, puts it nicely with “the real obstacle that separates you from Christ are overcome through prayer and penance”. A quote that I happened to across during my time overseas. I can attest to this.

Our first destination the next day was Basilica of St Mary of the Angels that holds the Porziuncola, where St Francis of Assisi died. In our individual time there, I stumbled my way to the rose gardens, and there at the statue of St Francis, a dove appeared. An Italian family happened to be there with me, and they started calling out ‘St Francis! St Francis!’, indicating of his presence through the dove. Only did I begin to really appreciate this moment when we visited Basilica of St Francis of Assisi, where I saw the famous painting of him talking to the birds. In particular, the main bird that is seen flying is that of a dove. Later we had the privilege of both visiting the body of St Clare of Assisi and Blessed Carlo Acutis. For some reason, in visiting Blessed Carlo Acutis, I was greatly reminded of sacrifice. Jesus’ saying to “take up your cross and follow me” kept echoing in my head. What had it meant? Perhaps, in my case, to put a pause on university life and follow him at WYD. Or partake in the sacrament of reconciliation. Whatever it might be, in all things good or bad, we are reminded to trust in the Lord no matter what.

In Fatima, I was drawn to the Sanctuary of Our Lady of Fatima, being the place where the Marian apparitions and the miracle of the sun occurred. I made my way there whenever I could with our full day in Fatima spent going to the Sanctuary at five different times. It was not because we had to but because I wanted to. It was in this place that I started to appreciate the unity of the One Body of Christ. Whether I was by myself or with a group, in the noise or silence, I felt connected. Connected to God and to all those that were there. I remember on our first night in Fatima, I spontaneously decided to visit the Sanctuary at midnight. There I was surprised to find that people were still there and were praying. Some prayed as they walked the Penitential Path on their knees, and these were people both young and old. It was striking to see that we had all come, even at any untimely hour, to pray and be with God. The joy of this togetherness was very much celebrated at the candlelight procession we did the next day, having walked together as we prayed and sung. An unforgettable experience it was to see the light of all those candles. The light that burned in the darkness that represented each one of us and of the faith we had in God.

The candlelight procession served as a great reminder that although we may face our own challenges and are on different journeys, we are all journeying together to seek the same thing. To seek God. It is comforting to know that we are never alone. Particularly being in Fatima that is heavily associated with Mother Mary, we had a better understanding of our mother’s love and of understanding that she too would never leave our side. This is represented by the statue of Our Lady of Fatima that walked with us.

World Youth Day delves into the theme of unity and on the universality of the Catholic Church, specifically applying this for and to young people. The first Mass we had in Lisbon at the Church of Our Lady of the Rosary of Fatima was with the entire Archdiocese of Melbourne group of nearly 600 pilgrims. This was already astonishing because who knew there would be so many people like me from my hometown going to WYD? Now widen the scales of this by several hundred more times and you can start to imagine what it was like at all the WYD events. Unbelievable. Remarkable. Glorious.

Meeting new people at WYD came very easy. We were making new friends on public transport, Masses, talks, and restaurants. You name it. These were people that lived very different lives from us, in that, unless for WYD, we would probably never meet. Despite the differences, we could always find one major commonality, that is, God. Everyone at WYD was there for a sole purpose that is rooted in God. Out of all the WYD events, the one that I felt this unity most strongly was at the Vigil Sleepout during Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament. Being in the A5 zone, we were at the side of the main stage, so I had made my way to the front of the fence to watch it all live. The moment the Eucharist was taken out, an eerie silence fell from what was previously a buzzing crowd.

Everyone had dropped to their knees to venerate the Lord. This was approximately 2 million young people at Campo da Graça kneeling and praying with one intent; to pay respect to God and to be in His presence. It was in the silence that I understood what the Catholic Church stands for and of her unified love for God.

The warm sun soon arose and the next thing we knew it, we were waking up to the sound of techno beats from DJ Priest Fr Guilherme Peixoto. I must say, he has a way with the younger crowd! Although many of us were on low sleep, the enthusiasm was still alive as Papa Francesco joined us again for the final WYD Mass. It was in this Mass that the spiritual connection I had felt in Fatima, specifically to Our Lady of Fatima, came and surprised me. After taking the Eucharist, during our own time of reflection and prayer, a lady from Portugal approached me. She opened her hands to reveal a little pretty statue of Our Lady of Fatima. I had nothing to exchange and yet, she generously departed me with this gift. Her name is Sophia and although our encounter was short, this moment is one I’ll never forget. I felt that Our Lady of Fatima had heard my prayers, and this was her sign, through people of God, that she and the Lord were by my side. In fact, the statue of Our Lady of Fatima was present at that Mass, being temporarily taken from the actual Fatima site. If this was not enough to convince you of such message, the Pope then said his speech to which he continually called out “Do not be afraid!”. An iconic phrase we hear so often in the Bible, exactly 365 times, to cover every day in a single year. A lifetime’s worth of reminders that we are always protected and loved by our God.

Looking back, it is not the grandeur of the places we visited or of the events we attended that is remembered the most. It is the presence of God in those places, events, and people we were with that is remembered. Many blessings this pilgrimage has been and many blessings it continues to be. May this experience that I have shared be a blessing to you as it has been to me for the pilgrimage did not end overseas but continues today.

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