Wellbeing Report

Teen mental health...how much time in their room is a real worry?

You come home from work...they are in their room.

You call them for dinner...they are in their room.

You clean up, get organised for the next day and watch Netflix after dinner...they are in their room.

You know that teens like their own time but you are wondering how much room time is okay and how much time in their room might be an indication there is something wrong.

You don't want to go overboard and dial a therapist right away...but you also don't want to miss a problem that might be on the rise.

So how do you work out what is normal teenage behaviour and what is a mental health problem?

The short answer is that you have a mental health problem on your hands when their sadness or anxiety stop them from doing things that they would normally do (e.g. go to school, see friends), stops them enjoying the things they normally enjoy, or they are doing something to hurt themselves.

While it's understandable more parents are asking questions about the early signs of mental health difficulties, the more important question is how to respond to teenage emotions in a helpful way.  Whether there is a mental health diagnosis or not, all teenagers benefit from having some space to themselves.  They hate it when we as adults, "freak out over their mental health" (their words not mine 😉).

But as parents, of course, we worry about our teenagers and we want our kids to be happy.  With rising rates of mental health difficulties in teens, it is more on our radar than previous generations.  The thing we most need to watch though as parents is to make sure that our need for them to be happy doesn't put more pressure on them and accidentally lead to more angst.

What can I do?

The best thing you can do to support your teen's mental health is accept and allow them to experience and express all of their feelings. Be a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on.

They don't always need a pep talk, exercise, time out of their room. The more important thing is for our teens, is to feel heard and understood.  When we do this, it soothes their emotions and makes them feel less alone.  And if after hearing and understanding them you can see there is a problem that the two of you can't tackle together, then seek help from your GP to get help for them to get back into life again.