From the Executive Deputy Principal

WHAT MAKES A RELATIONSHIP HEALTHY?

In every relationship, it is important to consider how we treat one another. Relationships should be respectful, honest, and considerate. Some relationships are such that they include elements of fun and love, whilst others may be more formal or professional in nature and we adjust in the way we interact, build or nurture these relationships accordingly.

When relationships are healthy, they promote emotional and social wellness. When relationships are unhealthy, one may feel drained, overwhelmed, or invisible. Boundaries, sound communication, and healthy time apart are vital to having relationships that everyone involved feels good about. Healthy and respectful relationships allow us to feel safe.

Monican students, staff and families are encouraged to reflect on your current relationships and consider how you can incorporate the elements below.

Communication. The way you speak with friends, family members, College Staff or colleagues, is an important ingredient of a healthy relationship. Everyone involved should be able to communicate feelings, opinions, and beliefs in a respectful manner. When communicating, consider tone and phrasing. Miscommunication often occurs when individuals choose to communicate whilst emotionally charged or heightened. A considered pause, reflection of the potential impact of your words or actions on others, can avoid heated and accusatory communications. Figuring out the best ways to express your feelings in a calm and considered manner, will help reduce miscommunication and can eliminate rudeness or disrespectful exchanges.

Boundaries. Boundaries are physical, emotional, and mental limits or strategies a person sets for themselves which others need to respect. Friends, family members, College Staff or colleagues should feel comfortable in the activities they are partaking in. All individuals involved should be respectful of limitations. At times we need to ensure that boundaries are set and maintained so that relationships continue to grow and flourish. With clear and adhered to boundaries, relationships should not be too difficult to manage comfortably. If they are, you may need to ask why.

Consent. Consent is important in all forms of relationships. Consent is uncoerced permission to interact with the body or the life of another person. Coercion can look like pressure to do something, physical force, bargaining, emotional intensity or someone holding power over another to get what they want. Consent can look like asking about acceptable boundaries in relationships, actively listening to responses, and always respecting those boundaries and wishes, without judgement.

Trust. Each person in the relationship should have confidence in one another. If you are questioning whether to trust someone, it may be important to communicate your feelings to them or to discuss this with someone who can support you to understand your questions. Consider what makes you not trust someone. Is it something they did, or is it something you have experienced in other relationships? Clarity and open communication can be helpful in building trust. Being willing to trust someone involves investing time to get to know who they are, what they represent and how they manage themselves when they think no one is watching. Trust takes time but is a crucial part of all healthy relationships.

Honesty. Honesty is important for communication. Each person within the relationship or friendship should have the opportunity to express their feelings and concerns in a respectful manner. If you don’t feel comfortable or safe being honest with someone, consider why and seek support if needed.

Independence. It is important to have time to yourself in any type of relationship. Having opportunities to spend time with others or time for self-care is important to maintain healthy relationships. Setting up designated areas or times within your day when you can spend time alone, to clear your mind, to be centred so that you may present your best self, can be helpful.

Parity. Each person in any relationship should have an equal say in what is going on. Listening to one another’s opinions, respecting boundaries and allowing everyone to be heard and valued contributors, assists all parties to feel safe in the relationship.

Support. Each person within a relationship should feel supported. It is important to have compassion and empathy for one another. In addition to supporting one another, it is vital to recognise your own needs and communicate boundaries around support.

Responsibility. Some days you may find you said something hurtful or made a mistake. We are all humans, and it is human to err. Make sure to take responsibility for your actions and do not direct the blame on others. Taking responsibility and accountability for your behaviour will build trust and honesty.

Healthy disagreement. You may think conflict is a sign of an unhealthy relationship, but talking about issues or differences is normal and healthy. It is rare to find a person that has the exact same interests, opinions, and beliefs as you, therefore at times disagreements may occur. Communicating your feelings and opinions while being respectful and kind, is part of maintaining healthy relationships.

Safety. Safety is the foundation of connection in relationships. In order to set boundaries, communicate, have fun, and to be productive in a work setting, everyone must feel safe. If you do not feel safe to express your feelings, have independence, or you do not feel safe to include any of the elements on this list, seek support or initiate shifts to or within the relationship.

Fun. In addition to all these components, you should be enjoying the time you spend with others. Healthy relationships should bring joy to our lives.

It is important that your relationships promote and prioritise your wellbeing and do not diminish it.

Miss P Di Maria 

Executive Deputy Principal