Roasting or Trash-Talking

We want our school to be a place where every student feels safe, respected, and connected. Recently, staff have noticed more “roasting” and trash-talking among students. Parents have also raised this in conversations at the Mental Health Forum and Coffee and Cake sessions.

As a school community, we define “roasting” as when someone makes jokes or comments about another person, usually focusing on their appearance, behaviour, or personality. It’s often intended to be funny, but it can quickly cross the line into hurtful teasing or put-downs. While some students see roasting as “just joking,” it can make others feel embarrassed, excluded, or unsafe. For example, during a sports game, a student might say, “You’re so slow, even the other team doesn’t bother guarding you.” This kind of trash talk might sound playful, but it can be upsetting and chip away at the confidence of other students.

One concern for us is that many students don’t speak up when the “roast” goes too far. While we can’t be sure why they are not speaking up, possible reasons may include:

• Fear of being called a “snitch”
• Worry about rejection from their peer group
• Avoiding possible conflict
• Guilt if they’ve engaged in similar behaviour
• Uncertainty about how to bring it up with peers or adults

(There may be other reasons too—please share your insights with us if you have them.)

What are we doing at school?

• Using our restorative approach to help students think about the impact of their words—not just their intentions.
• Stepping in when we hear roasting or trash talk, and holding restorative conversations so students can reflect, take responsibility, and repair harm.
• Encouraging a school culture where joking is fun but still respectful, and everyone feels included.
• Teaching and encouraging students to use supportive language when letting others know a joke has gone too far.

How can you help at home?

• Talk with your child about the difference between friendly teasing and comments that cross the line.
• Encourage them to check in with friends if a joke seems to upset someone.
• Remind them that it’s okay to speak up or ask for help when they feel uncomfortable. Talk about which adults at school they trust most—it may not always be their class teacher.
• Model positive talk at home—show how to joke, disagree, or playfully tease without put-downs.

Conversation starters that can be used at home

• “How would you feel if you were the one being roasted?”
• “Have you ever seen someone upset by a joke? What did you notice?”
• “What could you do if you saw a friend looking uncomfortable after trash talk?”
• “How can you tell when a joke has gone too far?”
• “Why is it important to make sure everyone feels included?”

Why?

We are working to build a culture where roasting and trash-talking are reduced. However, we know that we cannot eliminate this type of talk. So, with the support of families, we can help students develop the skills to navigate tricky situations, speak up when needed, and use language that strengthens—not harms—our school community.