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The Final Countdown: Supporting Your Child’s Nervous System

A note from a fellow CPS parent & speech pathologist

 

End of the year. Overwhelming for students, parents, teachers… everyone really. If you notice your child is more tearful, cranky, busy, or quiet than usual, pause and watch closely.

  • Remember: All behaviour is a form of communication. 
  • Behaviour changes may be signs of fatigue, anxiety, or sensory overload. (or too many candy canes!)
  • Excitement and exhaustion can feel the same inside the body, and both make it harder to process and use language. 

  • Sometimes impulsive choices, retreating, or refusing are simply the nervous system’s way of asking for help!

     

In the “silly season,” one of the most helpful things we can do as caregivers is reduce the cognitive (brain) load on developing brains and nervous systems.

 

Tip 1: Take the Pressure DownWhen the nervous system is in overdrive, language can feel hard and words can be lost. Even with best intentions, our talking, reasoning, instructions and questions can add to the load.Things you can try together if your child is having a difficult moment:• Keep language simple and factual. This is called declarative (low demand) language.• Example: Instead of “Go and get your shoes on, now!”, try “I see your shoes near the door.”• Skip “why” questions or deliver one instruction at a time, or even better, say it another way entirely - use visuals, gestures, jokes (warning, this may cause laughter).• Offer gentle acknowledgment: “It looks like things feel really tough right now. There are lots of exciting and big things happening.”

 

Tip 2: Nervous System Reset / PauseAs we learned from When I Grow Up: "If your [child or yourself] crashes - if nothing seems to work... TURN IT OFF AND ON!" Once the load is lighter, help the body re‑focus. A calmer body gives your child AND you space to make better choices and process big emotions.• Model calm yourself: speak slowly, take a visible deep breath. Let them know you feel it too.• Pause silently: often a three-second circuit breaker is more powerful than a raised voice.• Breathing is always available: Show them 5‑finger breathing - trace each finger while inhaling and exhaling slowly.• My favourite - the grounding exercise: “5 things you can see, 4 you can hear, 3 you can touch, 2 you can smell, imagine 1 that makes you happy or calm.”Repeat these techniques often. Ask if they know any others. I was shocked recently, when our six‑year‑old paused, took a breath, then asked us to "do the 5 things, because I need help calming down".THIS is the goal: Be their co-regulator (guide) until they can guide themselves. And when they do it or try it even - praise, show pride, high five!

 

Finally:

You are doing a great job. This is HARD!You Are Not Alone.We Are All Feeling Frazzled. 

And if you’re not frazzled, please share your secret with the rest of us!Remember your village. Lean on other caregivers, be open about how you’re feeling. We’re lucky to have a strong village here at CPS.

 

Summary / Take home message: 1. Signs of overwhelm are the nervous system asking for support, not evidence of failure. Small shifts—simpler words, slower breaths—help children feel safe and steady when their systems are tired.

2. Calm the body first. Emotions next. Problem‑solving when their minds are able to process the words.

 

Quick ResourcesHere’s a curated Further Resources section you can add to your handout or newsletter. I’ve grouped the links you shared into clear themes so parents can quickly see what each offers:

 

Further Resources

Declarative Language (low demand, emotional regulation)

Communication & Connection

Nervous System Regulation