Wellbeing

R U OK? Day 

How Parents Can Model Healthy Coping 

As adults we often feel the pressure to appear calm, strong and in control for our children. But the truth is, kids don’t need “perfect” parents. What they really need are parents who show them that it’s normal to have big feelings and that there are healthy, proactive ways to manage them.

When you share, in age-appropriate ways, how you feel after a tough day and what you’re doing to look after yourself, whether that’s taking a walk, talking to a friend or practising calm breathing, you’re showing your child an important life skill: it’s okay to feel and it’s okay to ask for help. Children learn by watching, so modelling small strategies to calm down or reset, like stepping outside for fresh air or writing your thoughts down, can be a powerful lesson.

It’s also important to remember that not all kids will want to open up directly to Mum or Dad. That’s completely normal! What matters is that they know there are safe, trusted people they can turn to. This could be a grandparent, godparent, aunt, uncle, coach or close family friend. By reminding your child of their wider support network you give them more opportunities to share what’s on their mind.

Sometimes starting a conversation with children can feel tricky. Asking simple, open questions can make it easier, such as “What was the best part of your day?”, “What was a bit tricky today?” or “If your feelings were a colour, what would they be?”. You don’t need to wait for a serious moment either, little check-ins in the car, before bed or while cooking together often create the best chances for children to talk.

On R U OK? Day, let’s remind ourselves that the simplest but most powerful thing we can do is to check in, genuinely, with one another. Whether it’s with our children, our partners or our friends, asking “Are you really okay?” can open the door to connection and support. And if you or your child need extra support, reaching out to a teacher, school counsellor, GP or helpline shows strength and helps children see that no one has to manage tough feelings alone.