College Connections

College Counsellor

EMPOWERMENT  |  WELLBEING  |  AFFIRMATION

Screen Time VS Green Time

My grandmother had a sign in her house that read, “Habit if not resisted, soon becomes necessity.” Below it was a picture of a piano, which I could never make sense of. I always thought the words were meant as a solemn warning—if you keep doing bad habits, they will become vices, things we can’t resist.  

How many of our children can’t resist screen time? Is this a habit or a necessity? What’s the big deal? 

  1. Screens are fun 
  2. It’s rewarding 
  3. Screen time is an escape 
  4. It creates a feeling of social inclusion 
  5. I need something to do! 

When we’re talking about behaviour change, the key is that we can rarely just ‘stop’ a behaviour. This behaviour served a purpose for us, so stopping it leaves a gap, and if we just rely on will power alone, we will almost always fail. Another huge one is modelling the behaviour we want to see – I know if I’ve been on my phone for hours, asking the kids to get off a device is taken with zero credibility! And the approach of deciding to ban screens forever will only create conflict.  

 

Dr Justin Coulson offers some practical ideas to have these conversations with your children: 

  • Agree ahead of time on how long is suitable for games and other media 
  • Agree ahead of time on what time devices will go off at night 
  • Agree ahead of time on a strategy for getting them to switch off when asked. An oven timer works well 
  • Agree ahead of time to keep devices out of bedrooms and in public areas to the extent that is reasonable and possible. 
  • Agree ahead of time on a 15-minute warning 
  • Agree ahead of time that your child must acknowledge and respond to those warnings 
  • Agree ahead of time what the consequences for refusal to get off screens will be 
  • Agree ahead of time that schoolwork and other responsibilities will be completed ahead of screen time for fun.  
  • Agree ahead of time that it is ok to talk to parents when something seen or received online is distressing or dangerous. 

Green Time 

These ideas will help manage conversations about screen time. However, the key to behaviour change is replacing the behaviour with something else. Screen time can be fun and has its place, but to raise resilient children, Green Time should be the focus. For parents, this usually means providing something else for their kids to do, which sometimes means more work and effort to engage with our children.  

 

School holidays provide a wonderful opportunity to put some of these tips into practice. But I think the piano on my grandmother’s sign was there to serve as a message of hope. Instead of a warning against bad behaviours, imagine if screen time was replaced with green time, and in the practice of playing outside every day, the habit soon becomes more than that – a necessity.  

  

 

References: Coulson, J. (2017). 9 Ways to a resilient child. Sydney: Harper Collins