Strong Hearts Strong Minds

How to develop positive school attitudes in children 

When I was thinking about this topic, I thought about two options. One option was to write about ‘traditional’ recommendations focused on setting up your children well, establishing good routines, enough sleep, a nutritious lunch with options for morning snack, lunch and more healthy afternoon snacks, notes of affirmation, encouraging them to read regularly, a quiet space for homework and keeping screens out of bedrooms. These things are important and if you’re reading this, I’m sure you’ve heard or read similar advice before.  

What I want to share about in this article is also important, arguably more important, but spoken about less frequently and aims to tap into some of the challenges of parenting in 2024.  

Partnering with MECS 

When you made the choice to send your child or children to MECS, you would have read and signed the Partnership Agreement. Within this agreement is the core statement: ‘Work in partnership with MECS in furthering its mandate of distinctive Christian Education’. What wonderful sentiments – a commitment to work with the school to be different and reflect Biblical beliefs in everything that takes place within MECS. Within my first six months of working at MECS, I have witnessed extraordinary love and commitment by staff within MECS towards the students. At times this love and commitment takes the form of correcting behaviours and discipline, at other times celebrating efforts and successes within and outside of the classroom. When there are times your child may be upset with another student, or disagree with a teacher or a decision that has been made, I would encourage you to gently listen and hear your child, with the understanding that there are likely to be other factors involved. As a parent myself, I know the urge to react to your child’s emotions are real and can be strong. Can I suggest taking time to reflect, help your child reflect and attempt to see the situation from other perspectives. If questions remain, to gently and respectfully seek clarification whilst keeping in mind the question of, ‘How can I best work in partnership with MECS as part of this issue?’ 

The ‘online’ and ‘real world’ children live in 

In his recent book, ‘The Anxious Generation’, author, psychologist and researcher Jonathan Hait discusses children living in the ‘online world’ and also the ‘real world’ since the widespread use of smart phones. He discusses that over the past 10-15 years there has been a shift in parents becoming over involved in real world interactions, including school and under involved in what our children are doing when online. He found that this relates to the attitudes and expectations that children develop towards school, with parents at times becoming overinvolved in aspects of their child’s schooling, in ways previous generations would not have. By allowing our children to navigate problems and challenges, we can support their independence with the aim that over time they will apply their problem solving skills to a broader range of situations both within and outside of school.  

There have been dramatic reductions in the time children spend outside and in face to face play or activities. By encouraging children to engage in imaginative, child-led play, connecting or playing in person with others on weekends and being ok with being bored from time to time you are supporting the development of vital life (and school) skills. These include social skills, conflict resolution, flexible thinking, compromise and the navigation of safe and unsafe risks.  

Conversations continue at MECS about how to encourage child led, imaginative play and activities and I would encourage you and your family to engage in similar conversations at home about what this might look for your family. If you would like to share your thoughts, ideas or have any questions, please send me an email at danny.gamble@mecs.vic.edu.au.

In a future article we will explore phone (or screen) based childhoods that children are now growing up with. In over 20 years of working with children and families, I’m confident that I’ve never heard a parent ever say that they wished that their child would spend more time on a screen. The good news is you remain their parent or guardian and you do have the ability to shape and model what less time on devices might mean for your child and your family.  

If you have read this far, well done! As it will have become apparent through reading this, there is no single or simple approach to helping children develop a more positive relationship towards school. However, if authentic partnerships can be a priority, supporting your children to take age-appropriate risks (in real life) and connecting with others outside of school, more positive relationships can be fostered that will ultimately enhance your child’s academic, social and emotional development.  

Finally, I do want to acknowledge that parenting can be hard and I want to encourage and pray for all MECS parents and guardians. May you continue to seek Him and His guidance as you continue to raise them.  

Danny Gamble

Primary Student Wellbeing Coordinator