Student Wellbeing

How Fathers Positively Influence Their Children - Especially Their Sons

Adolescence is a period of enormous emotional, social, and psychological growth.

During these years, young people are developing their identity, values, confidence, independence, and understanding of relationships.

For adolescent boys in particular, fathers and other positive male role models can have a profound influence on how they view themselves, manage challenges, communicate with others, and navigate the transition into adulthood.

While adolescents may sometimes appear distant or increasingly independent, research and experience consistently show that strong parental connection remains one of the most protective factors for a young person’s wellbeing. Fathers play an important role not only through guidance and discipline, but also through their presence, emotional support, encouragement and everyday interactions. Sons often learn important lessons about respect, resilience, emotional expression, problem-solving, and relationships simply by observing the adults around them.

Importantly, positive influence does not come from being a “perfect parent.” Rather, it comes from being consistently present, approachable, supportive, and willing to stay engaged during both the positive and more challenging moments of adolescence.

Some helpful reminders for parents - and especially fathers - include:

Be present and available - Consistent time, attention, and genuine interest in a young person’s life can have a significant impact. Small moments of connection often matter more than grand gestures.

Listen without immediately trying to “fix” things - Adolescents often want to feel heard and understood before receiving advice. Active listening helps build trust and emotional safety.

Model healthy emotional expression - Boys benefit greatly from seeing positive examples of men expressing emotions in healthy ways. Showing that it is okay to talk about feelings, stress, disappointment, or vulnerability helps challenge harmful stereotypes around masculinity.

Encourage effort, not just achievement - Praising persistence, resilience, kindness, and growth can help young people develop healthy self-esteem and motivation.

Spend quality time together - Shared activities such as sport, walking, cooking, driving, fishing, gaming, or simply talking can strengthen relationships and create opportunities for meaningful conversations.

Be a positive role model in relationships - Adolescents learn a great deal by observing how adults treat others. Demonstrating respect, patience, empathy, and healthy communication teach important lifelong relationship skills (this is especially the case for how adult males treat and interact with females).

Maintain boundaries and consistency - Young people benefit from clear expectations, routines, and boundaries delivered with warmth, fairness, and understanding.

Support independence while remaining connected - Adolescence is a time when young people seek greater autonomy. Fathers can support this by encouraging responsibility and decision-making while remaining available for guidance and support.

Show interest in their world - Asking about friendships, hobbies, music, sport, school, or future goals helps young people feel valued, understood, and connected.

Remind sons that masculinity can look many different ways - Strength can include kindness, respect, empathy, honesty, courage, and asking for help when needed.

Positive male role models are especially important during adolescence, as many young people are increasingly influenced by online content, social media personalities, and messages about what it means to “be a man.” Unfortunately, some online figures promote unhealthy ideas around masculinity, relationships, power, emotional suppression, or disrespect towards others. Adolescents who are searching for identity, belonging, or confidence can be particularly vulnerable to these messages if they do not have strong, positive adults helping guide and challenge their thinking.

This highlights the importance of fathers and other trusted male role models providing balanced, respectful, and emotionally healthy examples of masculinity. Young people benefit from seeing that confidence can coexist with kindness, strength with empathy, and independence with respect for others. Open conversations at home about online content, relationships, values, and respectful behaviour can also help adolescents develop critical thinking skills and make healthier choices about the influences they follow.

It is also important to acknowledge that every family situation is different, and some young people may not have regular contact with their father or may rely on other important adults in their lives for support and guidance. Positive male influence can come from many sources, including stepfathers, grandfathers, uncles, coaches, teachers, mentors, and family friends. What matters most is that young people feel supported, valued, safe, and connected to caring adults who take an active interest in their lives.

As a College Community, we recognise the important role families and carers play in supporting the wellbeing and development of our young people. Adolescence can be a challenging period for both teenagers and parents; however, ongoing connection, patience, encouragement, and positive role modelling can make a lasting difference. Even small, consistent efforts to remain engaged in a young person’s life can have a powerful impact on their confidence, resilience, relationships, and overall wellbeing long into adulthood.

One of the most valuable things fathers and caregivers can offer adolescents is not perfection, but consistent presence, support, and connection during the years they may need it most.

Scott Cadby, PACFA Reg. Clinical (21605)

Psychotherapist

BA (Psych) MPsychotherapyCouns

College Counsellor and Wellbeing Coordinator

Seasons For Growth Program - Learning To Live With Change and Loss

Change and loss affect all of us at some stage in our lives. When significant changes occur in families through death, separation, divorce and related circumstances, young people may benefit from learning how to manage these changes effectively.

Seasons for Growth is a valuable program that helps young people in Years 7 to 9 coping skills to manage change. Commencing in Term 3, this evidence-based program is held in small groups and focuses on issues such as self-esteem, managing feelings, problem-solving, decision-making, effective communication and support networks. This program is delivered with thanks to Br Tony Cummins, our Campus Minister, and our Wellbeing Team.

To register your child for Seasons for Growth, please discuss this opportunity with them and contact Br Tony at btc@stbedes.catholic.edu.auor 9582 5958 by Friday 18 June.

For further information visit https://aifs.gov.au/research_programs/evidence-and-evaluation-support/cfc-program-profiles/seasons-growth

How Students Can Access College Counselling

Self-referring to the Wellbeing Coordinator counselling@stbedes.catholic.edu.au
Drop-in to our Wellbeing Office at our Mentone Campus (near the Chapel gardens)
Requesting a referral from their Homeroom/Tutor Group teacher, Year Level/House Coordinator on their behalf
Requesting a referral from their Parent/Guardian on their behalf (either via counselling@stbedes.catholic.edu.au or 9582 5999)

College Counselling is tailored to each specific student and can be offered one-on-one or in a group context. Support can also last from a ‘one-off’ session to weekly/ongoing appointments.

How Families Can Support Their Sons

As parents/guardians, your role in your child’s wellbeing is invaluable. Some ways you can assist your child include:

Helping them establish a balanced routine that includes time for study, relaxation, and hobbies
Encouraging healthy sleep habits and a nutritious diet to support their overall wellbeing
Being attentive to changes in their behaviour or mood, and gently ask how they are feeling if and when you notice any changes
Promoting positive self-talk and help them set realistic goals for themselves
Modelling healthy coping strategies, such as managing stress or problem-solving constructively
Celebrating their achievements, no matter how small, to boost their confidence
Encouraging open conversations about their feelings and experiences – but accept and understand if and when they may not want to open up to you (if this is the case encourage them to seek help elsewhere)
Encouraging and reassuring them that seeking support is a sign of strength, not weakness
Staying informed about the services and resources the school offers

If you have any concerns about your child’s wellbeing or feel that they could benefit from additional support, please do not hesitate to contact your child’s Year Level or House coordinator of myself. Our staff work in partnership with you to ensure your child’s wellbeing is prioritised.

Scott Cadby, PACFA Reg. Clinical (21605)

Psychotherapist

BA (Psych) MPsychotherapyCouns

College Counsellor and Wellbeing Coordinator