WELLBEING

Why are positive relationships between parents and children important? 

Children learn and develop best when they have strong, loving, positive relationships with parents and other carers. 

That’s because positive relationships with parents and carers help children learn about the world – whether the world is safe and secure, whether they’re loved, who loves them, what happens when they cry, laugh or make a face, and much more. 

You can build a positive relationship with your child by: 

• being in the moment with your child 
• spending quality time with your child 
• creating a caring environment of trust and respect. 

How to be in the moment and build your relationship with your child 

Being in the moment is about tuning in and thinking about what’s going on with your child. It shows your child that you care about the things that matter to them, which is the basis for a strong relationship. 

Ideas for being in the moment with your child 

• Show acceptance, let your child be, and try not to give directions all the time. If your child wants to pretend the building blocks are people, that’s OK. You don’t have to get your child to use them the ‘right’ way. 
• Let your child lead play by watching your child and responding to what your child says or does. This is great for younger children. 
• Notice what your child is doing and encourage it without judgment. For example, ‘Are the big blue blocks the shopkeepers? And is the little red block going shopping?’ 
• Listen to your child and tune in to their feelings. For example, if your child is telling you a long story about what happened during the day, they might really be saying that they had a happy day. 

• Stop and think about what your child’s behaviour is telling you. For example, if your older child is hanging around in the kitchen but not talking much, they might just want to be close to you. You could offer a hug or let them help with dinner, without needing to talk. 

   

How to get more quality time into your relationship with your child 

Positive relationships between you and your child are built on quality time. Time together is how you get to know about each other’s experiences, thoughts, feelings and changing interests. This shows that you value and appreciate your child, which is great for your relationship. 

Quality time can happen anytime and anywhere, in the middle of ordinary days and situations. 

Ideas for quality time with your child 

• Use everyday moments to send positive messages with smiles, laughter, eye contact, hugs and gentle touches. For example, you might have a laugh when you’re bathing your toddler or a chat in the car on the way to basketball with your older child. 
• Minimise disruptions and distractions when you’re together. This can be as easy as putting away your phone or work. It helps your child know that you’re keen to spend uninterrupted time with them. 
• Plan regular one-on-one time with your child. There might be times in your family life when it’s not possible to have a lot of everyday moments with your child. But planning can help you make the most of the time you do have. 

For more information please visit:  

• https://raisingchildren.net.au/  
• https://smmc.vic.schooltv.me/newsletter/positive-parenting

Jorgen Leschke

Director of Wellbeing