Principal's Message

Dear Parents,

Most of us, at some stage of our lives, have done something we should not have done or not done something we should have done. Sometimes we might not take responsibility for our shortcomings but, instead, choose to make excuses. This form of behaviour is not new as is evidenced in this somewhat unusual retelling of the Adam and Eve story: “Adam blamed Eve, Eve blamed the Snake and the snake didn’t have a leg to stand on.”

Then, there is that delightful piece of justification or excuse-making that came from the mouth of Don Quixote, the legendary Knight errant, who famously tilted against windmills. His squire, Sancho Panza, accused Don Quixote of running away and leaving his squire to the mercy of his enemies: “I did not run away,” replied Don Quixote. “I staged a strategic withdrawal. Bravery that is not based on prudence is mere recklessness and is to be avoided. I was following the example of many brave men in history who saved themselves for more opportune times.” Author Miguel De Cevantes 1605.

We all make mistakes from time to time, but it seems to be an inbuilt tendency to blame others for our faults. There can be strong emotional pressures that motivate us to make excuses and so blame our upbringing, our circumstances, the way we have been treated by others and, of course, these days we can blame our genes. Unfortunately, the fact is that all excuses boil down to one common element: a lack or a denial of personal responsibility. Excuses are a common method of shifting blame as we attempt to keep our self-image intact, when we are faced with negative feedback. It’s a tough call, when we have to admit that we are wrong or that we have overlooked something. We immediately want to shift the blame away from ourselves in the hope that, in some strange way, we will then “feel good” regardless of our actions. Poorly offered excuses, such as blaming others or telling half-truths, are not believable and cause doubt to be cast on our character. If nothing is ever our fault and is always the fault of the circumstance or of someone else, then, this leads us to justifying our actions rather than taking responsibility for them. Benjamin Franklin had a strong opinion of this type of behaviour when he said, “I never knew a man who was good at making excuses who was good at anything else.” If our excuses are not genuine, people will feel hurt, let down or perhaps angry; they will regard us to be less than worthy of their trust or esteem. By refusing to make excuses and to embrace responsibility, we reap the rewards of self-respect, pride and confidence. Psychologists tell us that the happiest people are those who accept total responsibility for every part of their lives. What a wonderful gift we can give to our children, if they are able to accept total responsibility for their lives, because they saw us doing it. Maybe there was merit in the old piece of gardening advice for growing “lettuce”: 

“In the first row of ‘lettuce’ let us grow patience, positive thinking and persistence. And in the second row of ‘lettuce’ let us grow responsibility, trustworthiness and honesty.” Author unknown. 

As parents we should all devote our energies to teach our children this form of gardening. 

“Lord, I put my trust in you and ask that when I am challenged by expectations and pressures, I may have the courage to deal with them in a responsible way. Amen.”

God Bless

Leonie Burfield

Principal