Deputy Principal

Parenting Can Be Tough

There is no greater responsibility than parenting. There is no greater joy than parenting. There is no greater frustration than parenting. Yes, we love our children, but they can be so frustrating. I am not sure if the way we parent has changed, or our children have changed. I would never have answered back to my father. We just did not do that when we were growing up. Was that a good thing? In some respects, you could argue that it was -because there were clear lines of respect. Others may argue that some children did not answer back because they were scared. We never want our children to fear us. We want our children to listen to us because they respect us, and we respect them.

Recently, my 15-year-old daughter informed me that she was staying at her friend’s house on Saturday night. It made sense for her to stay there since she was attending a party, and we don't live near the party's location, which was close to her friend’s house. Then came the issue. I said to her, “I will need her friends’ parents to text me, as I do not know them, to say it is okay.” This is where the argument started. Growing up, if I wanted to stay at a friend’s house, the parents would talk, and that would be arranged. She said, “No one does that, dad. Do not worry about it.” Let us think about that: she wanted me to say, "Okay, go, and stay at her friend’s house with people I don't know." 

Well, the answer was clear: that was not happening. My wife and I have clear expectations for our children if they want to stay at someone else’s house. We must have communication with the parents. This is a rule that we never stray from, and if our children do not like it, they do not stay. 

I was talking to a parent on Saturday morning at the First XI Football Jersey presentation. As parents, we get frustrated with our children because we have the lived experience of being children and teenagers, and we can see some of the obstacles they are about to face before they do, since we have faced them ourselves. Sometimes, when we try to help our children or offer our assistance, they don't take it because, in their minds, they know better. 

We walk a fine line when we are parents. Despite what our children think, sometimes we do know better, as we have seen it all before. It is a matter of getting the balance right. Getting the balance right does not mean we give in to our children when they get upset with us. It means we continue to hold them accountable for their actions, set high expectations, be there for them when they stumble, and, most of all, ensure that no matter how much they frustrate us, there is always unconditional love.

Adrian Byrne

Deputy Principal