Ten ways to shift your child's mood from "Ohh-no!" to "Yee-ha!"

Help kids manage their anxiety and other emotions with these ten easy-to-use mental health tools. They're fast-acting, healthy and super-effective.

Michael Grose

Aug 14, 2024

If you are a twenty-first-century parent, you need a big mental health toolbox to help your kids manage anxiety and other difficult emotions.

When life throws curve balls, some kids take things in their stride, while others go straight to anxiety, anger or fear.

Feeling emotional extremes is part of life, but that doesn’t mean they must stay in those states. Kids don’t have to stay hostage to their moods. With the right tools, they can quickly shift from a sour mood to a more pleasant and productive space

These ten practical tools help kids have agency over their emotions, allowing them to shift to more pleasant feelings when they feel low.

1. “Take a breathe….take a few actually”

The simplest way for a child to feel better, whether it’s to calm nerves before a talk or reduce anxiety before meeting new friends, is to take three or four deep breaths.

Deep breathing triggers dopamine release, initiating the parasympathetic nervous system, which promotes physical calm and contentment.

2. “Picture yourself….”

Anyone who carries a picture of a loved one with them will know how powerful a visual reminder can be.

Encourage your children to carry a picture of their favorite person, pet, or holiday to help them feel better when needed.
Pictures and photos have a deep emotional impact as the visual mode is powerful.

3. “Let me entertain you….”

Watching a movie, reading a book and playing a favourite game are great ways to move moods to more desirable places.

These distractions are great for kids’ mental health and super mood shifters as well.

Entertainment conquers the scourge of anxiety-inducing rumination by fast-tracking kids out of their heads and into the present moment.

4. “DO something….”

Boys are action-oriented, acting out their feelings more than girls. When they are happy, they dance and gig around; when they are mad, many become aggressive or more active.

Help boys use their preference for action to dissipate emotion or shift their moods to better places.
If they are angry, insist they play an active game or sport to get the energy out.
Lethargy, boredom and other passive emotional states too can be shifted through physical activity.

PLEASE NOTE: This movement strategy works well for action-oriented girls too.

5. “Listen to the music…”

Have you ever experienced that sudden change in background music from happy to suspenseful in a movie scene?

Music will shift an emotional state quicker than anything else, which makes it a brilliant mental health tool.

Encourage kids to change their moods by listening to music that will help them feel better, more relaxed, or even inspired.

Playing music and singing can have the same effect.

6. “They get by with a little help from their friends….”

It’s natural for kids to seek solitude when they feel down or have experienced less than pleasant events. They need time to process events internally.

Some kids prefer to visit their caves (aka bedrooms) to process their emotions, while others use a keyboard (formerly it was a diary) to help them work through difficult feelings and events.

At some point, they need to emerge and seek the company of others, whether for distraction or to share their worries.
Seeking the support of family and friends is a fabulous long-term mood changer and a valuable life skill.

7. “Think yourself to a different mood…”

I remember my mother saying to me as a child, “For goodness’ sake, stop moping about. Stop that ridiculous brooding!”

“Ouch!”

While her take-no-prisoners approach may not be everyone’s cup of tea, her message resonates with every parent.

My mother believed that if I could think myself into a negative mood, then I could also think my way to a better mood.

She was right.

Kids can cultivate positive thoughts by reminiscing about happy times, delightful places, and cheerful occasions.
Their thoughts impact their feelings, so they should use them to their advantage.

8. “Talk yourself into a better frame of mind…..”

Sustained positive self-talk is one of the best ways to move from a place of anxiety to a place of optimism and hope.

The trick is for kids to catch their negative self-talk and replace it with a mantra such as “I can do this. I’ve done it before, and I’ll do it again.”

Change your self-talk, change your moods!

The hard part is remembering to do it.

9. “Mind the meditation….”

Seeing many schools now add mindfulness and meditation to their well-being programs is fabulous.

Both are terrific strategies to help kids relax and ease the tensions and stresses of life.
Both involve managing the mental clutter that can overwhelm individuals, impacting how they feel.
Mindfulness and meditation can easily be incorporated into everyday family life, and they don't have to be lengthy to be effective.

10. “Get a good night’s sleep…”

Parents of past generations told children and young people, “Remember to get a good night's sleep, and things will be better in the morning.”

There’s loads of evidence that links sufficient sleep to good emotional and mental health outcomes.

With the high number of children currently experiencing anxiety and depression, a great place to start is – to get a good night’s sleep.

If your child appears to be consistently unhappy or out of sorts, a visit to the doctor may be a good starting point.

If that doesn't help, prioritize sleep as the number one factor in maintaining long-term mental health.

Finally…..

Yes, this post is about building your toolbox, so take action.

Whatever you choose, involve your child - invite rather than impose. Start using new tools in low or no-stress situations until they become automatic.

When a tool or strategy is effective, practice it repeatedly until it becomes automatic.
Be ready to experiment.
Know when to persist and make sure you have some fun when using.

In Anxious Kids, my best-selling book co-written with Dr. Jodi Richardson, you’ll find a full game plan and toolbox to help you manage your child’s anxiety.

Parenting Toolbox Weekly Wise Words

“Healthy families incorporate well-being and mental health habits into everyday life. Knowing how to maintain good mental health is now a vital life skill, best learned from a young age.”

Michael Grose

eSAFETYparents.

Ensuring our students' safety online is a top priority. As children explore the internet, it's crucial they understand the importance of cyber safety. We encourage you to talk to your child about never sharing personal information online. It's also essential to remind them to only visit websites and play games approved by you or their teachers. If your child encounters anything that makes them uncomfortable or worried online, encourage them to speak to a trusted adult immediately.

The following resource may help you talk about online safety issues and strategies with your children including down loadable books, information sheets and videos.

Parents | eSafety Commissioner

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