What is Dysregulation?

Dysregulation is when we are unable to control or maintain our physiological or psychological processes, and it impairs our functioning. Dysregulation may mean ‘Slowing Down’ or ‘Speeding Up’. If we Slow Down we may become quiet and withdrawn, distracted/zoned out, flat or tired. If we Speed Up we may be easily angered or frustrated, fidget, scattered attention, loud and big actions. Stress, pain, or social rejection cancontribute to dysregulation. Dysregulation can be common in children and teens because they they face novel situations regularly and must navigatethese moments, whilst learning appropriate coping strategies and social skills. We can support dysregulation with the use of brief emotional uplifts.

Brief Moments = Big Impact

We can build our emotional bank account in small easy ways and by doing this we also build connection and the emotional bank account of our kids.

Laugh

Laughter promotes relaxation by forcing us to breathe deeply. As we exhale from laughing we automatically draw deep breath which helps combat the stress response and provides a positive distraction.

Breathe

Deep breaths inflate the rib cage and stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system. It lowers blood pressure and heart rate. Visuals can be really helpful, find a cool video or use a strategy like 5 finger breathing https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c2U3iBJonmU. These strategies take practice so it’s a good idea to introduce this to the child when they are calm.

Brain Coupling

Be their calm. Our brains want to mirror what is happening around us. If you lower your voice, speak slowly, move slowly and breathe deeply they are likely to mirror your energy.

Get Moving

Movement and exercise helps produce Serotonin, which can help smooth out emotions and can help boost attention. Research has found children 0-6 years can sustain a maximum of 5 minutes of dedicated focused attention, by age 10 it increases to 10 minutes and for 15+ it is 20-35 minutes. Movement breaks can help switch on different regions of the brain and support our focus.

Hug

A cuddle will release Oxytocin which is a feel good hormone that helps with love and social bonding.

Spot Their Strengths

Paying attention to someone’s character strengths can help build connection and give strength based feedback. We can alsoask our children to dial up or dial down our strengths e.g. "I love your ‘Zest’ but whilst we are in the car lets dial it down and dial up ‘appreciation of beauty and excellence’ and look for the coolest car".

For more information on character strengths visit:

Check-In

All children want to be seen and heard. If you recognise your child is dysregulated, name what you see and ask them how they feel e.g., Ican see you are crying, how do you feel? What is it like for you? It will help your child feel noticed and increase sense of connection.

Parenting is tough!

We are constantly learning as we go and will make mistakes. When we make a mistake, acknowledge it “I’m sorry, I’m learning how to do this, what would you have done differently?”

Take care of yourself!

Give yourself permission to be human and to take time for your own self-care. If you do need support reach out.

Parent Line is a free service for Victorian parents and carers: 13 22 89

For more information about Lea Waters and some of her resources visit:

Music

with Mr Flynn