Senior School

3/4 Writing

In Grade 3/4 we  have been learning how to ‘show not tell’ in our narrative writing. This technique is used in various types of creative writing. It allows the reader to experience the story and characters through actions, thoughts, sensory details, and feelings, rather than just a factual description.  

Instead of saying she was frightened we say…

Her heart was racing, and cold sweat dripped down her face. (Karis)

She froze and felt her spine prickle. It was as if she was encased in a tomb of fright. (Asher)

She froze on the spot, sweating and her palms were as hot as the sun. Her heart was beating fast and thumping loudly. (Sienna)

Her whole body shuddered, and her eyes widened at such a horrendous sight. (Pengpeng)

She froze, her eyes widened with fright. (Ella)

She was in a pure state of shock, fright and horror, her face as pale as a ghost. (Haven)

The girl was fuming with anger. Her fists clenched and her eyes hardened as she stared at her mother. (Pengpeng)

Instead of saying he was angry we say …

As I glanced at his face, I saw his red eyes bulging, pupils contracting, steam was pouring out of his ears and he was very close to exploding. (Krishna)

He was seething with anger as he stormed out of the room leaving complete silence behind him. (Leah)

Instead of saying they were excited we say …

The student’s jumped up and down, chatting excitedly (Georgie)

The students’ broad smiles were seen as they tossed their exercise books in the air (Nicole)

The students’ smiles lit up as they danced around the classroom. (Karis)