Wellbeing

Bringing the Attitudes of Mindfulness into our lives

Author: Georgina Manning Director of Wellbeing For Kids

Mindfulness does not just stay within the Meditation practice itself.  We need to bring our whole being to the process and to our lives.  I like to think of the attitudes of Mindfulness as the 'soil' that mindfulness and our personal self grows.  Without cultivating these attitudes, mindfulness can be mechanical and a means to an end.  According to Jon Kabat Zinn, there are 9 attitudes that can be helpful to cultivate Mindfulness into our lives; Acceptance, Non-Judging, Patience, Beginners Mind, Trust, Non-Striving, Letting Be/Letting Go, Kindness & Compassion.  This is where we bring Mindfulness into our lives in a deep way beyond the ‘Meditation Mat’ so to speak as we are able to live Mindfully and embrace Mindfulness into all our lives, not just in Meditation practice.

Acceptance

Acceptance means looking at your current experiences and acknowledging it for what it is, rather than falling into judgement.  Some people like to use the word ‘acknowledge’ instead of acceptance as this feels more comfortable to manage situations that we have no control over, whether we agree with it or not.  Acceptance doesn’t mean resignation.  Acceptance is understanding what we can control and what we can’t control.  When we bring an attitude of acceptance to our situations, we are less likely to have strong emotions around the situations as we are not fighting with ourselves with frustration and irritation for something to be different than it is.

We can bring acceptance to our emotional experiences as well.  If we feel frustrated or annoyed, and then bring an attitude of acceptance to this emotion, we are more likely to be able to pass through the emotion, rather than staying stuck in it, trying to feel something else.  We can acknowledge the difficult emotion, notice where we feel this in our bodies, notice thoughts and allow these to be there.  We are more likely to move past this feeling when we bring this attitude to the experience.

You may have also practiced an attitude of acceptance to a difficulty in your life.  It doesn’t mean you like it, or have invited it, you may have noticed how helpful it is to just bring acceptance to something has happened that we may not be able to change.

We can also bring an attitude of acceptance to our Meditation practice. An example of this to accept how you are feeling in the meditation, accepting that you have thoughts, accepting that on a particular day that you may not feel settled or calm and that is ok.  We can just bring mindful awareness to what is happening right now without judging it.

‘Acceptance is a very active process, there is nothing passive about it, it’s not passive resignation but an act of recognition that things are the way they are… Acceptance doesn’t mean we can’t work to change the world, or circumstances, but it means that unless we accept things as they are, we will try to force things to be as they are not and that can create an enormous amount of difficulty’.

Jon Kabat-Zinn

Non-Judging

How often do we judge an experience as either good or bad, or seeing if the current moment fits with what we expected or wanted?  We tend to look at experiences through a lens of ‘good’, ‘bad’ or ‘ok’ and if the experience does not match what we think is ‘good’, then we can dismiss the whole experience as valuable.  This takes us away from the current experience, the moment by moment unfolding experience that is full of rich experiences that we may ordinarily miss if we label it too early.

This doesn’t mean we are being ‘judgmental’ or a ‘judgemental’ person, it simply means that we are doing what humans do well, which is quickly assessing a situation to see if it’s safe and comfortable and whether it matches our goals and expectations.

When we are mindful and in the moment of our experiences, we can notice what is happening for what it is right now. When we are mindful, we can let go of what the experience needs to be and notice just what is happening.  The same is true for when we are practising the formal practice of Mindfulness, the meditations.  If it is not bringing us the joy we were hoping, or inner peace or relaxation, then we can easily give up and think it’s not working, or is not right for us, or it’s not effective enough.  This is missing the whole point of the meditation, which is to build awareness of what is happening now.

We can also judge ourselves in the meditation experience thinking that we are doing it ‘right’ or ‘wrong’.  All we need to do is just be aware, to notice, to feel through the senses, to observe our thoughts – all without judgement.

’Generosity is another quality which, like patience, letting go, non-judging, and trust, provides a solid foundation for mindfulness practice’

Jon Kabat-Zinn

Emma Claussen

Wellbeing Teacher & Year 3/4 Teacher