Junior School
Welcome Back
I trust that all students, parents/carers and extended family enjoyed a safe and peaceful mid-year break. The new term ahead promises to be an exciting one from the outset as the Junior School will host two unique events over the next few weeks: the Semester 1 Academic Awards Assembly and the Year 5 Grandparents’ Day celebration.
Please note that parents/carers of any students who are due to receive an award based on their Semester 1 achievements will soon be notified via email, while more information regarding our Grandparents’ Day event is detailed below.
This semester, Ms Meagan Compton (Learning Support teacher) will be taking a well-deserved break on long service leave, and she will be replaced by Mr Mark Leary (former full-time classroom teacher at the College) to begin the term. We wish Ms Compton well during her time away on leave and look forward to the contributions that Mr Leary will make in her absence as part of the Junior School teaching team.
Parental Protective Instinct
“I knew I was giving my child bad advice, but I didn’t know what else to say!”
In my experience, this is one of the most common statements over the years that parents have said when it comes to friendship issues experienced by their child/ren. As students return to school following a three-week break from their peers, it is important to remember that some boys may experience social teething issues as students continue to learn how to navigate everyday spot fires that occur in their friendships with others. Rather than being something to worry about, this is simply a normal part of readjusting to school routines and expectations for the boys. Some students may just need extra initial assistance when remembering how to navigate socially as part of a large cohort of Junior School students!
When parents are activated by their child’s friendship issues, especially if another student has been intentionally mean, it is common for their protective instinct to kick in. This can trigger their own fight, flight, freeze or fawn response, thanks to the autonomic nervous system. These default settings might sound like:
- Fight - “Just punch them back!”
- Flight - “Go play with someone else!”
- Freeze - “Ignore them!”
- Fawn - “Be friends with everyone!”
As we aim to support our children in fostering healthy relationships throughout their lives, it is critical that parents/carers understand how unhelpful and, in some cases, dangerous these stress responses can be for children.
A parent whose default setting is to ‘fight’ teaches their child to respond to conflict with aggression and violence. Encouraging a child to get physical as a defence mechanism immediately escalates the situation, activating anxiety in the child. Most children are not naturally aggressive, and they know punching/pushing is wrong and will get them in trouble. When a parent tells a child to do something that is socially unacceptable, it feels deeply confusing for them. Research shows that children are less likely to seek help from parents who promote fighting, often withholding information to avoid triggering anger in them.
A parent whose default setting is to ‘flight’, teaches their child to avoid conflict. This inevitably results in unhealthy friendships that lack trust and respect. When conflicts and frustrations are ignored, resentment builds and connections are fractured. A conflict-avoidant mindset prevents authenticity, transparency, and honesty in relationships. It limits the depth of a friendship and, for children, results in the friendship itself feeling tenuous.
A parent whose default setting is to ‘freeze’, teaches their child to bottle their emotions. While ‘fight’ is exploding, ‘freeze’ is imploding. This approach teaches children to shut down, preventing them from processing their feelings. Research shows that repressing emotions only serves to amplify them and can lead to feelings of anxiety. Children who persistently keep their intense feelings in often experience physical symptoms like stomach aches and trouble sleeping. Similar to avoiding conflict, healthy relationships are impossible when one person is unresponsive as relationships are obviously a two-way street.
A parent whose default setting is to ‘fawn’, teaches their child to be a people-pleaser. Fawning is when a child absorbs all the blame, overlooking their own feelings and doing whatever it takes to make the other person happy. According to behavioural research, children who fawn feel disempowered and often end up as the ‘door mat’ in their friendships.
So, what is it that parents can actually do instead to have a more helpful, socially acceptable response to friendship issues their child may experience?
Check-in with yourself
First, notice how you feel when your child shares their pain with you. Do you feel yourself reacting? Are you getting angry? Is it triggering something inside of you? Which of the four responses (fight, flight, freeze or fawn) can you feel yourself wanting to default to? The key is to remain calm and objective.
In the field of positive psychology, Viktor Frankl has a famous quote. “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” This space that Dr Frankl describes is where empathy, compassion, and understanding can keep relationships healthy!
Just by being aware of how you are feeling will allow you to be more mindful in how you respond to your child’s friendship issue.
Focus on your own child
Secondly, focus on how your child is feeling. Too often parents will focus on the other child (“I can’t believe they did that to you! What’s their problem? Why would they be like that?”), instead of worrying about their own.
Help your child name their emotions. Clinical professor of psychiatry, Dr Dan Siegal, coined the term “name it to tame it” – a very simple, yet effective technique that helps reduce the intensity of feelings by labelling them.
Ask them, “How did that make you feel?” Give your child time and space to get their feelings out. Let them be upset if needed and just listen to them. Offer a hug, go for a walk, or play outside together… simply allow them a chance to get it out.
Ultimately, when you’re both in a calm state, it’s time to be a ‘friendship coach’ and empower your child with evidence-based strategies to solve conflict. Friendship skills are relationship skills! Teaching your child to manage conflict in a healthy way will help to ensure that they have positive relationships throughout their own lives.
Year 5 Grandparents’ Day
On Friday 28 July, our Year 5 students warmly invite their grandparents to the College as we celebrate our Grandparents’ Day event.
The day will commence with Mass in the College Chapel at 9:00 AM.
Morning tea (coffee/tea and light refreshments) will then be served in the foyer area of the new Scientia Building.
To conclude the event, our Year 5 students will host their grandparents in their own classroom for a short period of time before having their recess break as normal at 11:00 AM. Period 3 will then commence for all boys as per their regular timetable at 11:20 AM.
Please note that Grandparents’ Day is only for the grandparents of Year 5 students. Parents are welcome to attend if their son/s grandparents require assistance with movement. If your son has two sets of grandparents, they are both able to join us for this event. Finally, students who do not have any grandparents present on the day will still be able to take part in all aspects of the morning.
Parents are asked to please complete the relevant RSVP form here that was sent out via email during the recent holiday period to confirm the attendance for any grandparents who are due to join us next week.
We look forward to welcoming those grandparents who are able to attend this special upcoming event!
If you have any queries or concerns, please do not hesitate to contact me via email (glenn.stephenson@spc.nsw.edu.au) or phone (8705 9247) and I will endeavour to assist you in any way that I can.
May God bless you,
Glenn Stephenson
Director of Junior School
Junior School Curriculum Outlines - Years 5 and 6
The Term 3 Curriculum Outlines for Year 5 and Year 6 can be accessed below:
They are also available on the Year 5 and the Year 6 CANVAS course pages. It is worthwhile finding time to sit down with your son/s to discuss and action.
Daniel Fields
Head of Curriculum Junior School | Year 5 Blue Classroom Teacher
ICAS Assessments
A reminder to all parents/carers that this year, we are again pleased to offer our Junior School students the opportunity to sit the ICAS English, Mathematics and Science Assessments. These challenging competitions present real-world scenarios where students are assessed on their ability to apply classroom learning to new contexts, using higher order thinking and problem-solving skills. You can learn more about the ICAS Assessments at the following site: https://www.icasassessments.com/products-icas.
Parents/carers are invited to register and pay for their son to participate in either or all assessments by completing the following:
1. Go to the Parent Portal: https://shop.icasassessments.com/pages/pps.
2. Enter our school’s access code – EPU339.
3. Enter your child’s details, select the tests you would like to purchase, then proceed to payment.
Registration and payment close on Monday 24 July 2023.
After payment is made via the Parent Payment System you will receive an order confirmation email, please keep this for your records. ICAS assessments will be run before school (8:00 AM) over a number of days in mid Term 3.
Sarah Tatola
Learning Support and Enrichment Coordinator