Wellbeing 

Helping Children Cope with 

Children like routine. They thrive on knowing what happens when. But life doesn’t stay the same – people move houses, and sometimes they are lucky enough to move into a brand new school! Although exciting, for many children, changes to routine, environment and familiar tasks will become a little overwhelming.

Parents can play a vital role in helping their children learn how to cope with change, arming them with valuable life skills along the way.

According to a growing body of research, children learn how to cope with change and ups and downs of life by developing resilience.

For years it was considered one of the inherent traits we were all born with but psychologists today now know that it’s one of the most important qualities parents can teach their children (along with compassion). And the earlier this resilience-building is started the better.

And how do they learn it? Apparently by watching us. Studies have shown that children as young as two years old copy the coping, stress-management and thinking styles of the adults around them. And they can sense if parents are anxious or worried and will tend to mimic that.

Reinforcing this “it starts at home” message, Andrew Fuller, consultant psychologist for The Resilience Foundation and author of Tricky Kids, says resilient parents raise resilient children. Fuller describes resilience as “the happy knack of being able to bungee jump through the pitfalls of life”.

At school staff are following these five strategies to help our learners adjust to change. Parents can use these to to help your children manage change:

1. Be prepared to answer a myriad of questions – and create an environment in which they feel safe about asking you anything about the changes they’re facing. Asking questions helps them process change and the answers they receive from the people they trust most – that is mum and dad – will help them transition. If you don’t know the answer, it is okay “I don’t know, can we ask at school tomorrow?”
2. Give warning (where possible) – like adults, no child will cope well with change being sprung on them. If you can, start talking through the changes early so they can get their head around it as well as formulate all those aforementioned questions. Changes about pick up, lining up routines and so on are communicated through PAM. You can discuss these with your child before they arrive at school.
3. Stick to routines as much as possible – try not to change everything at once. If you have routines in place like bedtime rituals, the books you read, even the TV shows you all watch, try to keep those in place where possible. 
4. Let them grieve - when any of us move, change rooms, or make any kind of change in life, we leave something behind. Let your littlies talk about what they miss and try to point out all of the wonderful things about the new routine or changes in their life.
5. Be prepared to weather the change – many children don’t adapt immediately and there may be tears and tantrums. Expect that it can take time for children to adjust. If you are concerned, please speak to your child’s teacher or myself. 

Donna Allen