I was standing on the tall stairs overlooking the vast ocean. I could hear the waves crashing and the chatter of many people on the beach, the water seemed like it went on forever! Once I was on the hot sand my family found a place to put our colourful towels. As soon as I could, I put on my warm, long wetsuit and raced into the extraordinary water...
I felt the freezing water leak slowly into my wetsuit and then it stopped (phew, the wetsuit was working), I kept walking further into the shimmering water. Soon enough a crashing wave was rushing towards me and I knew I'd have to duck underneath the cold water... and so I did. I shut my eyes tight, listened for the monstrous wave and a split second before it hit me I ducked! After I was certain the wave had gone I rose cold and shivering but soon I got used to it. I stared into the soon-calm water and wove my hand through it gently... I stopped and saw a shimmering grey fish dart playfully around me. I was as still as a stone. What was I looking for? I watched the fish dash around gleefully. Once the joyous fish had left I went to go grab my boogie board.
I ran up the dry, crusty sand, water was flowing from my wetsuit after each step. I grabbed my boogie board. It had an interesting pattern. I strapped the leash to my wrist firmly and raced back to the refreshing water and luckily more humongous waves were crashing.
"Just in time," I murmured. I jumped onto my board, letting my toes dangle on the back as I paddled out into the ocean. I peered excitedly out into the sparkling water and waited... and there it was, a massive wave charging at me! This was the one. I braced myself as I saw the foamy, white water in the corner of my eyes and I shot off like a bullet racing the wave. I thought I was going to fall off but I held on tight. I was getting closer to shore each second. THUMP! I hit the wet sand on the shore, "Awesome!" I exclaimed. By the end of the day I had done this many times, it was late afternoon and it was time to go (mind you, I was ready), we packed up all our stuff and left this wondrous place.
It was a wonderful day at the beach and one of my favourites. I can't wait to do this again because it was an awesome experience (it really was!).
Miss Lenon writes:
Wow! What a fantastic piece of writing, I'm sure you'll agree! Zara completed this piece of writing in 40 minutes as part of our first Cold Write for the year. I chose to share this piece by Zara as it exemplifies so many aspects of great writing:
- choosing a familiar topic,
- writing in detail
- using a range of wonderful and precise vocabulary
- using metaphors and similes to engage the audience.
- It is so enjoyable to read! Zara really captured the essence of a wonderful day. Thanks so much, Zara!