Principal

Raising Caring Children

In the last week, I could not help but read reports about the actions of senior students at a GPS school at a camp where wildlife was killed and then a day later, reports of vile racial slurs in online chat rooms. People will often comment to me that such actions are “typical” of boys which really disturbs me. After nearly three years here, I can proudly say that this kind of vile behaviour is most definitely NOT typical of St Patrick’s College boys. When not directly supervised or when they are away from the watchful eyes of adults, the vast majority of our boys do know how to conduct themselves. They genuinely care about one another and regularly take steps to let a teacher know of serious breaches in our code of conduct. Over the vacation break, our boys have traversed the nation and the globe and in all those settings - Armidale, Brisbane, Italy, Japan, and others - all I have heard about is the wonderfully responsible way our boys conduct themselves. They are proud of themselves. They are proud of their school, and they are proud of their families. 

Our students are a credit to their families. It is each of our mums, dads, carers, and extended families, who have done the hard yards and I congratulate you on the job you are doing in raising such caring and responsible young men.

What does it take to raise a compassionate, moral child? Researchers have found that worldwide, this is parents’ number one priority – instilling caring is more important to them than their children’s achievement. But how much difference do parents and carers make in this area? Following are some suggestions for our parents/carers:

• Praise is more effective than rewards. If we want to reinforce caring, rewards run the risk of leading children to be kind only when a carrot is offered, whereas praise communicates that sharing is intrinsically worthwhile for its own sake.
   
• Nouns work better than verbs. It’s better to encourage a child to “be a helper” than “to help,” and it’s better to say, “Please don’t be a cheater” than “Please don’t cheat.” When our actions become a reflection of our character, we lean more heavily toward the moral and generous choices. Over time it can become part of us.
   
• With bad behaviour, evoke guilt, not shame. Shame is the feeling that I am a bad person, whereas guilt is the feeling that I have done a bad thing. When parents/carers get angry, withdraw their love, and threaten punishments, children feel shame and believe they’re bad people. When children feel guilt, they tend to experience remorse and regret, empathise with the person they have harmed, and aim to make it right.
   
• With bad behaviour, say you’re disappointed. The beauty of expressing disappointment is that it communicates disapproval of the bad behaviour, coupled with high expectations and the potential for improvement: “You’re a good person, even if you did a bad thing, and I know you can do better.”
   
• Model caring and generous behaviour. Studies have shown that children pay more attention to what adults do than what they preach. Children learn generosity not by listening to what their role models say, but by observing what they do.

Community News

We pray for Ms Jan Ovijach’s father who is seriously unwell at present.

In Memoriam

We pray for Mrs Sarah Tatola (Junior School) and her husband Macquire (Assistant Coach of the First XV) on the passing of Macquire's father Mr Tatola unexpectedly earlier this week. May his soul rest in eternal peace.

We also keep in our prayers the family of Aidan Toal (Year 5), who tragically lost his grandfather recently, and the family of Alexander Conroy (Year 8) on the loss of his grandfather.    

Dr Vittoria Lavorato

Principal

SPC boys can do anything! 

**except divide by zero