Student Wellbeing

Tips for How to Handle a Friendship Breakup

Breaking up with a friend can really suck. It’s totally normal to feel all kinds of emotions—angry, confused, hurt, jealous, or just plain sad. Even though it happens, it doesn’t make it any easier. But don’t worry, there are things you can do to help yourself get through it.

1. Give Yourself Time to Mourn

Losing a friend can hit just as hard as a romantic breakup, and sometimes it even hurts more. But people don’t talk about it as much, which can make it feel even lonelier. The truth is, you’ve lost something important, and it’s okay to feel sad about that. Don’t try to rush through the pain—healing takes time. If you need a few days to cry it out, or a few weeks to just feel a bit down, that’s totally fine. You’ll heal at your own pace, so give yourself the space to do that.

2. Talk It Out

Keeping all your feelings inside isn’t healthy, even if you think you’re strong enough to handle it alone. Find someone you trust and talk to them about what you’re going through. It could be your parents (they’ve probably been through this before), a sibling, or another friend who’s a good listener. Even if they don’t have all the answers or solutions, just being able to get everything off your chest can make a huge difference. Sometimes, just saying things out loud helps you make sense of them.

3. Focus on You

This is the perfect time to turn your attention back to yourself. Think about the things that make you happy and go all-in on them. Love long, relaxing walks with your favourite playlist in the background? Go for it. Can’t get enough of a good book or a Netflix series? Dive right in. If being active lifts your spirits, get outside and go for a run or hike. Whatever makes you feel good, make time for it. And if you’re someone who feels better around others, hang out with the people who make you feel supported and cared for. You deserve to put yourself first right now.

4. Know That Not Every Friendship Lasts

As you grow up, you’re going to change, and so are your friends. Sometimes, those changes mean you just don’t click like you used to, and that’s okay. It’s not a rejection if you and a friend grow apart—it’s just a part of life. Some friendships are only meant to last for a certain period, and that doesn’t make them any less important. Remember that growing apart from someone doesn’t mean you or they did something wrong. Sometimes, it’s just time to move on. People can stay present in our lives for a lifetime, a season or a day.

5. Don’t Force Closure

You might feel like you need answers to move on—like, why did they stop talking to me? What did I do wrong? But here’s the thing: you might never get those answers. And that’s okay. Friendships end for all kinds of reasons, and sometimes there’s no clear explanation. Maybe it was a misunderstanding, or maybe you just grew apart. Try not to obsess over figuring out the “why.” Instead, focus on accepting what happened and looking forward. The sooner you let go of needing closure, the sooner you can start healing.

6. Plan Things to Look Forward To

While it’s important to give yourself time to grieve, don’t let yourself stay stuck in sadness. Start planning things you can look forward to. Maybe it’s a movie night with some other friends, or joining a club or starting a hobby you’ve always wanted to try. You could even switch things up by rearranging your room, getting a new hairstyle, or treating yourself to a new outfit that makes you feel awesome. Keeping yourself busy and excited about what’s ahead can really help lift your mood.

7. Handle Mutual Friends (and Gossip) with Care

If you and your ex-friend share other friends, chances are you’re going to run into them, or they might ask about what happened. The best way to handle it? Keep it simple. You don’t need to spill all the details—come up with a short, polite response and stick to it. Something like, “We just grew apart, but I’m okay,” is enough. Also, be careful around people who might just want to gossip. You don’t owe anyone an explanation, so keep your head up, take the high road, and don’t give them much to talk about.

8. Unfollow If You Need To

Social media can be a tricky place after a friend breakup. Seeing your ex-friend’s posts pop up in your feed might just make things harder. If it’s too much, don’t be afraid to hit the “unfollow” button—it can be really freeing. If unfollowing feels too harsh, you can always use features like Instagram’s “mute” option, which lets you stop seeing their posts without actually unfollowing them. Either way, do what feels best for you and your mental health.

9. Learn from It

Life is full of lessons, and this is definitely one of them. Once you’ve had some time to heal, look back and think about what you can learn from this experience. Maybe you were an awesome friend, or maybe there are things you could have done differently. Either way, use what you’ve learned to grow. Don’t let this make you bitter—choose to be better because of it.

10. Be Open to New Friendships

If your lost friend was someone you spent most of your time with, it might feel weird not having them around. But don’t rush into a new friendship just to fill that gap. Take your time and focus on meeting new people. Join a club, pick up a sport, or even get a part-time job where other teens hang out. The more you put yourself out there, the more likely you are to connect with people who share your interests. Real friendships take time, so be patient and open to new possibilities.

11. Practice Self-Compassion

It’s easy to blame yourself when a friendship ends, but try to be kind to yourself. Remind yourself that it’s okay to make mistakes, and it’s okay to be sad. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend going through a tough time. You’re human, and part of being human is feeling hurt sometimes. Take care of yourself, and don’t be too hard on yourself as you heal.

12. Reconnect with Old Friends or Family

Sometimes, a friend breakup can leave you feeling really isolated. This is a great time to reconnect with old friends you might have drifted away from or spend more time with your family. These relationships can provide the support and comfort you need while you’re going through this. Plus, reconnecting with people who care about you can remind you that you’re not alone.

Friend breakups are tough, and there’s no magic solution to make the pain go away overnight. But by giving yourself time to heal, talking it out, and focusing on your own happiness, you’ll get through it. Remember that friendships change as we grow, and that’s okay. Keep your heart open to new possibilities, be kind to yourself, and trust that things will get better with time. You’re stronger than you think, and there are brighter days ahead.