Deputy Principal's Report

The words we use matter...

Do you ever find yourself constantly repeating instructions to your kids or facing their refusal to follow them? This is a common topic of conversation in many families.

Recently, there has been a significant amount of discussion and research surrounding this issue. Terms like Oppositional Defiance Disorder (ODD) and Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) frequently arise in these conversations. Whether or not your child fits the criteria for these conditions, you may still find some of the strategies and approaches suggested helpful.

Below is a quick guide to PDA, along with some suggestions on the language we use when asking our kids to do something. Avoiding direct requests is the key here.

Information specifically related to ODD can be found on many websites, but one consistently useful resource is the Raising Children Organisation, which is also within an Australian context. Some strategies they suggest include:

• Utilise specific praise to encourage positive behaviour, such as 'It was really helpful when you put your plate on the bench'.
• Consider implementing a structured reward system like a reward chart, particularly effective for children aged 3-8 years.
• Provide short, clear, and specific instructions, for instance, 'Please put the dishes in the sink'.
• Offer choices regarding when tasks can be completed, rather than whether they will be done. For example, 'Would you like to do your homework now, or after the next TV show?'
• Apply consequences consistently for the same behaviour each time, ensuring your child knows what to expect. For instance, consistently using a time-out for hitting.
• Validate your child's strong emotions and assure them that you're available to listen and assist. For example, 'I understand you're feeling angry. Do you want to talk about it?'

Implementing any strategy requires consistency, patience, and practice. It can be challenging if your children resist, but remember, we've all been there. There may not be a perfect solution for every situation, circumstances change daily, but hopefully, some of these tips will help make life easier!

Thanks for all your support,

Peggy McDonald & Steele Anderson

Deputy Principals