Stubborn Child? -
Mental Health &
Wellbeing @ St. Johns
How to Parent a Stubborn Child - Justin Coulson
Dear Dr Justin,
Please help! We are really struggling with our daughter’s stubbornness.
When boundaries are set, she reacts by screaming and outright refusing to listen. When we try to use the Three E’s to understand her perspective and give her some autonomy, she becomes defensive, avoids communication, and says she wants to be left alone.
What else can we do when Explain, Explore, and Empower aren’t working?
Sincerely,
Desperate Parent
It’s rare to find a parent who hasn’t experienced the joys and challenges of raising a stubborn child. The irony is, though, that many parents are just as inflexible as their kids, particularly when it comes to challenging behaviour from their children. We don’t like it, and we want it to stop. Now!
Often, when a child is upset, sad, or challenged, their thinking can become inflexible, rigid, or avoidant. As that occurs, you’ll find that they’re not open to hearing what you have to say. Their mindset is fixed, and they cannot be swayed. We say that they’re being “stubborn.”
It sounds like this is where you are currently with your child—they have their fingers in their ears, yelling “lalalala” while you try to logically point out where they’ve gone wrong. Your child won’t hear it. They’re convinced that they’re right. They might have been upset, but they are making it clear that they don’t want your help.
This is infuriating for us as parents because we have answers! We can help! We can fix this! Here's How!!
