Friendships, Conflict & Growing Social Skills

Supporting students to build strong friendships and develop positive social skills is a key part of our commitment to student wellbeing. Through our Social and Emotional Learning (SEL) lessons and the implementation of the UR Strong program, students are explicitly taught the skills they need to form healthy relationships, manage conflict respectfully, and seek help when needed.

We know that friendships are central to children’s sense of belonging and happiness at school. We also recognise that learning how to navigate disagreements, repair relationships, and understand others’ perspectives is an important part of growing up. The following article shares how we support students to develop these essential life skills at school, and how families can reinforce them at home.

Friendships, Conflict and Growing Social Skills

As children settle into the rhythm of the school year, many are forming new friendships, reconnecting with old ones, and learning how to navigate the complex social world of the playground. Friendships are one of the most important parts of primary school life. They foster belonging, confidence and joy. They also, at times, bring misunderstandings and disagreements. This is not only normal, but it is also an essential part of growing up.

Conflict Is a Part of Learning

When children experience disagreements, they are developing critical social and emotional capabilities, including:

Emotional regulation
Perspective taking
Empathy
Negotiation skills
Problem solving
Resilience

Rather than viewing conflict as something to eliminate, it can be understood as a learning opportunity. With guidance and support, children learn how to repair relationships, communicate effectively and move forward positively.

Conflict vs Bullying

It is important to distinguish between everyday conflict and bullying. While both can be upsetting for children, they are not the same and require different responses.

Conflict

Occurs between children of similar social power
Is typically occasional or situation-specific
Arises from misunderstandings, miscommunication or competing preferences
May involve heightened emotions, but both children are generally open to resolving the issue
Can often be repaired with guidance, reflection and problem-solving

Bullying

Involves a clear and ongoing power imbalance
Is repeated, deliberate and sustained over time
Targets a specific child or group of children
Intends to intimidate, isolate, control or cause harm
Persists despite requests to stop or adult intervention
Creates fear, humiliation or significant emotional distress

When behaviour reflects bullying, it is treated as a serious matter and responded to through formal processes and structured intervention. In contrast, most playground disagreements represent normal developmental conflict, where children are learning essential social skills with strong teacher support.

How Families Can Support at Home

One of the most effective strategies adults can use is reflective listening. Before jumping to solutions, it can be helpful to acknowledge both the content and the emotion behind what a child is sharing.

For example:

“It sounds like that really upset you.”
“You seem frustrated that the rules changed.”
“That must have felt unfair.”

When children feel heard, they are more able to calm themselves and think clearly. Once settled, gentle problem-solving questions can help build independence:

“What could you try tomorrow?”
“Is there another way you could handle that?”
“Who could you speak to if you need help?”

This approach strengthens social confidence over time.

For families seeking further guidance, the Raising Children Network provides an excellent, research-based article: How to help your child make friends

This Australian resource outlines why friendships are important for children’s wellbeing and development, and offers practical strategies for supporting social skills and helping children navigate conflict in constructive ways.

As always, your child’s classroom teacher is the first point of contact should you have any questions or concerns about your child’s experiences at school. Open communication between home and school is essential in ensuring children feel safe, supported and confident as they continue to grow socially and emotionally.

Primary school friendships will naturally include ups and downs. With consistent adult support, children develop the social understanding and resilience needed to thrive within a community.

School Attendance

Melbourne Archdiocese Catholic Schools (MACS) have encouraged schools to share the flyer School is better when your child is here, in regard to the importance of regular, on-time attendance at school. Being 10 to 15 minutes late over a number of days a week can really impact students ability to enter the classroom and be ready to learn. Similarly, for those that regularly miss the last half an hour of the school day, students miss the recap of lessons, experiences and often important information about the next day.

Every day matters for students to feel connected and for their educational outcomes.