Wellbeing @ MPS

Helping Children Navigate Disappointment

Disappointment is a part of life, but for children, especially in primary school, it can feel big and overwhelming. Events like Athletics Day can bring excitement and pride, but they may also come with moments of challenge, like not placing in a race, missing out on a ribbon, or simply feeling like things didn’t go as hoped. In everyday life, it might look like not being invited to a party, not being partnered with a best friend, or missing a turn in a game. These moments are tough, but they’re also powerful opportunities for learning, resilience, and growth.

Here are some simple, effective ways you can support your child when they feel disappointed:

 1. Acknowledge the Feeling

Resist the urge to minimise the situation (“It’s not a big deal!”) or immediately distract them. Instead, try:

• “I can see that really mattered to you.”
• “It’s okay to feel disappointed—those feelings are real.”

This helps children feel seen and supported, and teaches them it’s safe to express big emotions.

 2. Help Them Make Sense of It

Once the intensity of the emotion has passed, you can gently help your child reflect. Ask:

• “What were you hoping would happen?”
• “What part of this feels the hardest?”
• “What can we learn from this?”

This helps build emotional awareness and problem-solving skills over time.

 3. Encourage Resilience, Not Perfection

Let your child know that while it’s normal to feel let down, these moments don’t define them. Say things like:

• “It didn’t go the way you wanted, but I’m so proud of how you tried.”
• “You’re learning how to handle hard things, and that’s brave.”

Over time, this builds a growth mindset and helps children see setbacks as part of learning—not as failures.

 4. Offer Coping Tools

Some helpful strategies include:

• Drawing or journaling about how they felt
• Listening to music, playing, or getting active
• Creating a “Plan B” to help them feel more in control
• Making a “Toolbox” with calming strategies they can choose from

5. Model Healthy Disappointment

Children are always watching. If something doesn’t go your way, talk it through:

• “I was really looking forward to that, and I feel a bit let down. But I’ll try again next time.”

This shows them that disappointment is a normal part of life and that it doesn’t last forever.

When to Seek Extra Support

If your child seems overwhelmed by disappointment or struggles to bounce back over time, don’t hesitate to reach out to the MPS Wellbeing Team. We’re here to support your child’s social and emotional wellbeing, and small check-ins can make a big difference.

Together, we can help our students build the confidence, self-awareness, and resilience they need to thrive.

Margarita and Ady

MPS Wellbeing Team