Psychologist’s Perspective
Understanding Autism: Moving Beyond the Stereotypes
At Mazenod, we are committed to fostering an inclusive, informed, and supportive environment for all students. As part of this, we believe it’s important to openly discuss topics that impact many families in subtle and often misunderstood ways—including autism.
Challenging Common Misconceptions
Autism is frequently misunderstood, especially when it presents in less obvious ways. A common misconception is that all autistic individuals are socially withdrawn, lack empathy, or struggle with language. In reality, autism is a neurodevelopmental difference, not a behavioural problem or emotional deficit. It influences how a person processes information, communicates, experiences the world, and relates to others—and this can vary significantly between individuals.
It’s important to note that having friends or being socially motivated does not rule out autism. Many autistic students want to connect with others deeply, however, may find the “unwritten rules” of social interaction confusing, draining, or anxiety-inducing. They might struggle with group dynamics, subtle shifts in tone, sarcasm, or the expectations of peer culture—especially in the high-pressure environment of adolescence.
The Subtleties of Autism
Autism is often missed or misunderstood because it can present in many different ways, not just the more widely recognised or “classical” profiles. For example, some autistic individuals may use little spoken language and find it difficult to engage in back-and-forth conversation. They might develop a strong interest in specific or unusual topics, be highly sensitive to loud noises, certain textures, or bright lights, and become easily overwhelmed in busy or unpredictable environments. Some may also seek out sensory input—such as deep pressure, spinning, or jumping, to regulate their bodies and emotions. Others might rock back and forth when feeling stressed or overstimulated and find changes in routine or transitions particularly challenging. These behaviours are not “bad” or “wrong”—they are often adaptive responses to a world that can feel intense and confusing.
At the same time, autism can present in much more subtle ways, especially in students who are bright, verbal, and motivated to fit in socially. A student may appear talkative and friendly in structured settings, such as the classroom, but feel emotionally exhausted, overwhelmed, or withdrawn afterwards. They may follow social scripts, mimic their peers, or become the "quiet achiever," all while struggling internally to keep up with the social and sensory demands around them.
Subtle signs of autism can include:
Intense interests that may seem age-inappropriate or unusually focused.
Internalising behaviours such as anxiety, perfectionism, or people-pleasing.
Avoidance of eye contact or physical closeness, even if they appear social.
Making adequate eye contact when engaging with family but may avoid eye contact with those outside the family or unfamiliar individuals.
Reduced use of gesture when communicating verbally.
Reduced range of facial expressions to show emotions e.g. they can show happy and angry but struggle to show more nuanced emotions such as disappointment, embarrassment etc.
Facial expressions not matching actions e.g. an autistic individual may show comfort when you are ill but present with a neutral facial expression rather than showing concern.
Difficulty with unstructured or unpredictable situations (e.g. group work, recess).
A tendency to take things literally or miss sarcasm and subtle social cues.
Meltdowns or shutdowns at home after “holding it together” all day at school.
A strong need for routine, sameness, or control in daily activities which can lead to being perceived as “bossy”.
These students may mask their difficulties by copying others, suppressing natural behaviours (like stimming), or working extra hard to “get it right.” Over time, masking can lead to mental health struggles such as anxiety, depression, and burnout, particularly when the student feels they cannot be themselves without being judged or misunderstood. This more subtle presentation is often overlooked—especially in boys who are expected to appear "resilient" or socially confident. As a result, many students go undiagnosed until adolescence or even adulthood, by which time the emotional toll of masking has accumulated.
Importantly, autistic traits often become more noticeable when a student’s coping resources are exceeded—for example, during periods of stress, transition, sensory overload, or increasing academic or social demands. What may appear manageable in one context can quickly become overwhelming in another, especially when the student feels unsupported or misunderstood.
Recognising these quieter signs of autism helps parents, educators, and professionals provide support that affirms each student’s true experience—not just what is visible on the surface.
In a future newsletter, we will explore how the words we use—both as parents and educators—can impact the wellbeing of autistic students. We’ll look at the importance of neuro-affirming language, and how shifting the way we speak about autism can foster greater understanding, inclusion, and self-esteem for our young people.
Kind regards,
Rosemary Kucan
Psychologist