Family Feature

The following article was published in a recent internal College newsletter, and is republished here as an encouragement to all of our alumni and families. 

Feedback Is Not Just Correction—It Is Formation

I have been listening to Australian educator and wellbeing expert Michelle Mitchell on my drives to school. In reading through some of her books as well, I have been reminded of an important truth: children develop genuine self-worth through consistent, calm and clear feedback from the trusted adults in their lives. One thing that Mitchell shared on the radio that has really stayed with me is that children don’t need constant praise; they need accurate reflection, emotional safety, and guidance that builds inner strength rather than dependence on approval.

The words we speak to our children carry lifelong impact. Scripture reminds us:

The tongue has the power of life and death. – Proverbs 18:21

Feedback is never neutral. It shapes identity, confidence, emotional security and spiritual grounding. As parents, we are not simply managing behaviour. We are forming hearts.

Correct with Love, Not Shame

God models loving discipline:

The Lord disciplines the one He loves. – Hebrews 12:6

Mitchell writes that shame-based correction damages confidence, whereas calm, behaviour-focused conversations build resilience. Instead of labelling a child ('You are disrespectful'), effective feedback focuses on the action ('That comment was unkind, let’s try again').

Scripture instructs:

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. – Ephesians 6:4

When correction is delivered with steadiness and respect, children feel secure enough to grow.

Build Strength, Not Fragility

In her book Tweens, Mitchell explains that over-praising or rescuing children from discomfort can weaken their ability to cope. Instead, parents should acknowledge effort, normalise struggle, and coach problem-solving.

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart… – Colossians 3:23

Encouraging effort over perfection builds endurance. Feedback such as, 'I can see how hard you worked', or 'What could you try differently next time?' develops internal motivation and responsibility.

Speak Life and Hope

Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up. – Proverbs 12:25

Let your conversation be always full of grace… – Colossians 4:6

As I continue growing in the way I give feedback to my kids, I want to encourage all of us to be the kind of parents our children can borrow confidence from. The tone we use, the stability we model, and the way we respond becomes their foundation. When we speak with calm voices, set clear expectations, and offer consistent feedback, we create a sense of emotional safety that allows our children to flourish. And when our guidance is grounded in biblical truth and practical wisdom, it shapes not only their behaviour but their hearts. Our words can be instruments of formation, raising children who are resilient, secure and deeply rooted in faith.

Let’s keep encouraging, uplifting and strengthening our kids with the kind of presence that helps them grow into who God has called them to be.

Mr David Latianara

Student Wellbeing Coordinator (NWS)