Cranbourne Campus News
Father's Day Breakfast 2023
A balmy morning greeted the significant men of our community - fathers, uncles, guardians and grandfathers to the campus for our Father's Day Breakfast for 2023. Some of the highlights included the SRC working with teachers to prepare the event from decorating to cooking to sharing in the food. Shyla Paynter of Year 8 played guitar and sang some beautiful songs as we all sat around to enjoy a hearty breakfast and some special time being present and acknowledging the significant men of our community. Our keynote speaker was Dan Nisbit, father of Will (Marian Year 9) and Milla (Marian Year 7). Dan had some sage advice for all the fathers and father figures who were able to join us for the breakfast. With Dan’s permission, I am publishing some excerpts from his presentation.
“... The only real reference that we have is our own fathers and the significant men we have in our lives. However, while again I was fortunate enough for the example I had from my father, I realise that this is not everyone's reality for varying reasons.
My 16-year-old nephew lost his father to pancreatic cancer when he was 4 years old. While tragic he has turned out to be a fantastic and well-rounded young man. (Most of the credit for that obviously goes to his wonderful mother and the other woman in his life, however, he has also been surrounded by many great men also. From his grandfathers, his many uncles, his footy coaches, and his late father's best friends, he has had many great men assist in shaping form and moulding him into the great young man he is today.
What I do know is that it is more important than ever to have great positive male role models for our young people. Kids are learning from us every single day, with every single interaction.
I’m sure many of us have had that moment where we have had to stop ourselves mid-lecture when we have realised - “Oh my, I sound like my Father.” Or that moment when you see your kid's behaviour and think “That’s me.” Like the influence the significant males have had in our lives , how we act and behave is how our kids are going to respond as well. I share with you now some of the tips that I have picked up during my experiences of working with young people on many roles. These are things that I have read in my studies, observed from others, and learned from trial and error.
Some of it is evidence-based theory however these a just some of the things that I believe are important. It is important to be you - Your relationship with your children is will be
different from mine. But here is what I think is important.
Tips:
Be Involved in their lives
Josh Shipp - Author of ‘One Caring Adult’ Ted Talk says that kids spell trust T.I.M.E. Spending time with your kids in their activities (such as attending this morning) not only shows them that you care but your making life long memories together. Whether it be in sports, scouts, dancing, music, drama, or mechanics. My experience in being involved has led to me making great connections with other like-minded men on which great friendships have been built. This builds great community. It takes a village as they say
Show them Unconditional Love.
- They definitely need to hear the words “I love you” from you. If they are not hearing it from you then who else are they going to hear it from?
- We need to demonstrate unconditional love. This means forgiveness. Especially if you want to raise children who are honest.
- Unconditional Love means that they know, that no matter what they do, you will always love them. They might disappoint us, let us down, make us angry, but unconditional love means that we will always love them because they are our kids.
- In our Catholic Context, there is no greater example of this than
the parable of the Prodigal Son - which shines a light on what God’s love is for us.
Model Respectful Relationships with Women.
This is essential not just for our boys for our girls also.
- For our girls, Fathers are the psychological templates by which all girls will judge the men in their lives. (Michael Carr Gregg.) Therefore, if you are kind and compassionate and soft and gentle and show everything that is great about masculinity, then that’s what they will look for in their partners
- For our boys If you haven’t seen Tony Porter's TED Talk - The Man Box, I’d highly recommend it.
- The Man Box is the theory of the very rigid view of what it means to be a man that society projects - That we do not cry or openly express our emotions with the exception of anger. That men do not show weakness or fear and that we must demonstrate power and control. Porter and others challenge these rigid views of masculinity without throwing away the great things about being a man.
- Remember - our kids are watching our every move - they are learning from us every day.
Provide them Rules and Boundaries.
- Rules are how you do your bit to keep them safe. Rules are how we help kids learn that consequences have actions. Rules most often make us unpopular. Thats ok.
- Similarly, we can’t bring boundaries in when we need to. Boundaries need to be age-appropriate and adjusted to suit the child's maturity. That's how they grow! It is very difficult to rain them back in when things go south.
Give them Room to Grow
- Don't bail your child out of problems they can solve themselves.
Encourage them to go outside their comfort zone.
- Challenge them to be better.
- Applaud Achievement overgrowth. Focus on the effort that went in
rather than the result.
- Believe in them - If the significant person in their life doesn't
believe in them how do we expect them to believe?
- Remember those who think they can and those who think they can’t
are both usually right.
CROSS your FINGERS and TOES.
If all else fails - Fall back on your DAD jokes.
7 things all kids need to hear.
1. I love you.
2. I’m proud of you.
3. I’m sorry.
4. I forgive you.
5. I’m listening.
6. This is your responsibility.
7. You’ve got this.
BONUS: #8. No
Sometimes the most loving and caring thing you can tell a kid is NO.
Rest assured, they won’t always appreciate it in the moment. But years later they shall circle back and praise your brilliance. By saying NO to the wrong things, it allows us to say YES to the right things.”
Dan Nisbet (parent)
Thank you, Dan. Your reflection was an inspiration and a reminder of what is important in life.
“BE WISE”
Pat Cronin Foundation presentation for parents
During Term 4 our year 10 students will have an information session from the Be Wise Pat Cronin Foundation. Pat was a friendly young man here in Melbourne who died tragically following a single punch to the head when out celebrating with friends. The foundation set up in his honour goes around to different communities explaining to young people about the dangers of violence and how to keep themselves safe in the community.
For our community here in the South East, there will be a Be Wise presentation happening at Casey Stadium (details below). I would strongly encourage families to log on and book a seat (it is a free presentation and will complement what our Year 10 students will hear later in term 4
WHAT: Violence is Never OK presentation (free)
WHERE: Casey Stadium
WHEN: Saturday, November 16 at 11.30am/Saturday November 25 at 11.30 am
AGE: Suitable for years 15+
BOOKINGS: Necessary at https://www.trybooking.com/CKYGQ
I want to flag some fantastic events that have happened this week that will feature in our next Campus Newsletter
- Blurred Minds professional presentation to Year 8 and 9 about the dangers of Vaping and e-cigarette
- Grade 5 Welcome afternoon
- The announcement of the McGuigan Shield Winners
- RUOK Day
- Year 11 Leadership Day - With the Leadership day, I want to encourage those parents of students in Year 11 to put themselves forward for our College Leadership in 2024. Applications are due following the holidays. Student Leadership is a prestigious honour for those who are selected to lead the students and prepares our young people with the type of opportunities and skills that are very transferable into the workforce and university.
Jeremy Wright
Deputy Principal - Head of Cranbourne Campus