Wellbeing

Supporting your child with the social media ban

On December 10th, children under the age of 16 will be banned from most forms of social media. They will probably have some big feelings about this which is very normal as it will be a significant change in how they communicate with each other. 

Below are some tips how to best prepare and support them through this transition:

Explaining the age delay 

Start having conversations now. And have multiple conversations about it. Here’s some things that can help: 

Get the right information. eSafety is your go-to source for the latest on what is happening, and how – including what’s included in the ban and what’s not. 

• Ask them their thoughts and feelings. Any thoughts and feelings are ok and valid. 
• Explore the pros and cons together. What worries your child the most about it? What good do they think might come out of it? 
• Try to take a balanced approach to the delay. It’s ok to be honest about your feelings, but also to try and look at both sides, such as:“On the one hand, I don’t agree with banning social media altogether. On the other hand, I’m glad there wasn’t social media when I was a teen... and I think I’d benefit from less time on it too.” Or, “I think it’s a good thing because your brain is still developing and social media can be bad for mental health. But it's understandable people are upset – social media has good bits too.” 

Preparing for 10 December

Now’s a great time to help your child get ready for the upcoming changes!

1. Prepare together for their account to be closed

If your child is already on social media and will be losing access, create a plan together. This can include saving/downloading their memories and content, setting up other ways to connect online with important people in their lives, and finding age-appropriate platforms and apps to follow their favourite content creators on. ESafety has some helpful guides and worksheets. 

2. Explore support and wellbeing options 

Check out Kids Helpline for age-appropriate information on the ban, and coping strategies. Kids Helpline also has a safe and free social media platform called My Circle that is exempt from the ban. And don’t forget, Parentline is here to support parents through this too! 

Please also let them know if they (or someone they know) is underage on social media and something bad happens, they won’t get in trouble and they will still be supported by you, police and professionals. It's important to report things like sextortion, cyberbullying, etc., and not keep them secret. 

3. Create a ‘get out of jail free’ plan 

Did you know that teens report they’re likely to keep bad stuff that happens online secret from their parents? 

A great way to prevent this can be to create a ‘get out of jail free’ plan.  They can invoke the plan by saying, “I need to use the get out of jail free plan”, which makes it safe for them to tell you something that’s gone wrong online. If they invoke the plan, you focus on listening to understand and working together to resolve the problem.  

It doesn’t mean there won’t be consequences – just that you’ll stay calm, fix the situation together, and figure out consequences at a later date once the crisis has passed (if needed). A plan like this increases the likelihood that your child will ask you for help if they do something wrong, like send a sext. Discuss this with your child and figure out the details of your own plan together. 

4. Create a ‘getting ready for social media’ plan

Plan for when they turn 16 and can access social media again. Sometimes it’s great to have a ‘blank canvas’. What would they do differently? What would they like to learn more about? What advice would they give to younger friends or siblings? There’s lots of resources that can help with this – and understanding social media’s effects on the brain can be a great starting point. Kids Helpline has an article on the teen brain here, and Parentline has a version to help parents understand the teen brain on social media.