Wellbeing

Kindness

To be kind, according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, means to have a sympathetic or helpful nature. It also indicates gentleness, compassion and affection. Kindness is different than niceness. It goes deeper – it’s a genuine reflection of the heart. Niceness can be helpful, but kindness is a result of a heart in the right place.

As a parent you try your best to raise your kids to show kindness to others. As we all know though, mistakes happen, children are learning and they act impulsively and things get said or done that hurts someone else. Several years ago one of my children did just that. Someone had taken something that belonged to them and literally ran away with it. My child caught up with them and without thinking hit the other child. My child felt ashamed, embarrassed and sorry for what they had done. They told me what had happened and together we talked about the choice they had made and what they could have done differently. We also encouraged them to write an apology letter that was genuine and heartfelt, to own their choice and try and mend the friendship.  

Some time later another parent at my child's school approached me saying they wanted to talk about this same child. Initially I was thinking they were going to tell me my child had done something wrong. Instead they told me about their child and how for quite some time they had been bullied by another child. They went on to tell me that my child had regularly defended  their child, supported them practically and emotionally to feel safe at school. I was so grateful they had shared that with me and I was very glad to encourage my child about their acts of kindness and the difference it had made. It was a reflection of my child's heart and I wanted them to really understand that the poor choices we sometimes make aren't a reflection of who we really are. 

Kindness, empathy and compassion are character traits that children learn from adults in their life, so how do we teach kids kindness:

1. Model kindness in how we live our lives so our children see it lived out.
2. Educate them about what kindness actually is, don't just presume they know.
3. Use resources such as books (The Rainbowfish or The Giving Tree) or movies (Finding Nemo), pause it and talk about how characters might feel etc.
4. Teach children about empathy, helping them to understand that their choices impact others  
5. Teaching children statements like, " I feel....when you... because..". So you might say, "I feel hurt when you say mean words to me because I feel like you don't like me". Get your kids to practice this type of language.
6. Celebrating kindness and praising your child when you see them making those choices.
7. Maybe set a challenge as a family to perform random acts of kindness for people in your community.

Lets work as a community here at BPS to develop kindness and empathy in our own choices and within our kids. I look forward to hearing how your families are demonstrating these character traits.

Feel free to reach out anytime if you or your child need support.

Lisa Osborne

lisa.osborne@education.vic.gov.au