Wellbeing Hub

Setting Boundaries for Teen Sleepovers

As your teenager begins to spend more independent time with friends, including sleepovers, it’s important to talk about boundaries and safety, not as a restriction, but as a foundation for trust and comfort. Sleepovers can be wonderful opportunities for social connection, but a little planning goes a long way toward ensuring everyone’s peace of mind.

Building Trust Between Families

When your child is sleeping over at another house, it is important to have a conversation with the supervising adults of that house and for there to be a level of trust between both families. While it might be difficult to ask another parent or guardian how they intend to ensure the safety of your child without appearing critical, this is an important component to establishing trust.

Approaching parents or guardians with concerns or questions requires openness and vulnerability. However, not asking could have more severe consequences. As parents/carers, we cannot determine the safety of a home or family based just on impressions. A shared understanding and set of expectations between parents/carers helps prevent conflict and create a safer environment for your children. 

To help start these conversations, many experts recommend using a sleepover safety checklist to guide what questions to ask and what boundaries to consider.

1. Supervision and Environment

Ask who will be present and responsible during the sleepover. Will a trusted adult be home and awake? Are there older teens or other guests expected? It’s also appropriate to ask about the household environment including whether there’s access to alcohol, weapons or unsecured medications.

Conversation tip:“Can you tell me a bit about who will be home that evening? I just want to make sure we’re all on the same page about supervision.”

2. Communication and Check-Ins

Make sure your teen knows how and when they can reach you. Establish a check-in time, perhaps a quick text once they’ve settled in, and reassure them they can contact you at any point, no questions asked.

Boundaries to establish:Agree on a plan like: “Send me a quick text by 10 p.m. to say goodnight,” or “If you ever feel uncomfortable, you can call me right away and I’ll come and get you.”

3. Technology and Media Use

Discuss how phones, social media and screens will be used during the night. Will there be a phone curfew? Are there limits on internet access or movie choices? Aligning expectations ahead of time can help prevent misunderstandings.

Parent-to-parent question:“What’s your approach to technology during sleepovers? We usually have phones put away by 9pm.”

4. Sleeping Arrangements

Where your teen will sleep matters. Ask how many teens will be in the same room, if there are mixed genders and whether your teen feels comfortable with the setup. These are practical, non- invasive questions that help set boundaries and expectations.

Tip:Frame it as a safety measure: “I just want to be sure the sleeping arrangements feel safe and comfortable for everyone.”

5. Health and Special Considerations

If your teen has allergies, medications or specific needs, make sure the supervising adult is fully informed. Confirm that they know how to respond in case of an emergency.

Fostering Open Conversations

The best way to build trust and independence is through open, respectful communication. Before any sleepover, sit down with your teen and say something like: “I trust you and I want you to have fun. Let’s just go over a few things so we both feel good about this plan.”

Encourage your teen to share how they feel about the home, the friends and the plan. If something doesn’t feel right, they should always know they can say no or call you to come home.

Final Thoughts

Sleepovers can be some of the most memorable moments of adolescence. By setting clear boundaries, building trust with other families and maintaining open dialogue with your teen, you can ensure those memories are both fun and safe.

This article was adapted from the Child Abuse Prevention Service (CAPS) website in their article Sleepover Safety: https://www.caps.org.au/our-newsletter/sleepover-safety