From the Principal, Secondary - South Plympton

Hope in Times of Change

Change—whether it is personal, relational, or situational—can create uncertainty and distress. We all face change in our lives, and it can sometimes be painful. It is one thing when we choose a change and quite another when we are not in control of it. However, it is part of life. For me recent change is a reminder of this, and also that God doesn't change. And I am part of a bigger picture.

In 2024 I had my last daughter, the third one born eight years after her next older sister, leave me. Oh, and she left Brenton, (my husband), as well. She is my last hurrah! We used to joke and tell her that she can do all the study and travel where she likes in life, but in the end her true job is to stay at home and look after her parents as the third daughter. We had to stop saying this as when she got older I think she thought we may be half serious. 

When I had Victoria I never imagined the day she would leave. That this chapter of my everyday life would finish. Although I had prolonged the time I had children at home by having her, in May last year she did leave. And in one sense I couldn’t be happier, she has married a beautiful young man who loves her for who she is and they are well suited in so many ways. But she has left. And I couldn’t be sadder. The end of having my beloved children around the house. 

The last one has gone. I am just sad for the everyday chats, shared meals and their presence. And all the things I cherished - especially now they are slipping away. I had to stop being sorry for myself, however,  because I was not really being very fair and a bit disturbingly controlling.

However, I know that God is ultimately in control of all circumstances, and His plans are always good, even when we cannot immediately understand them. Or I don’t like them. I need to trust that God’s sovereignty can bring peace and hope in the midst of change in my life, in our crazy world. As Paul reminds us in Romans.

Romans 8:28 (NIV):“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

Is children leaving home part of his purpose? Well, yes! When we face change, especially difficult or unexpected change, we can be content, or aim for hope,  knowing that God is using those circumstances for good and His glory.

There are some good things to be grateful for in this next child-free home phase of my life. As an aside, I can put something away and find it easily again. I have ingredients ready for a recipe and they are still waiting for me to use. The house is tidy when I arrive home, and it is easy to clean. There's so much less hair to clean up! And the washing and ironing don’t lead me to feelings of resentment. But really, none of this compares to the love I have for my family and the joy I had being around them every day.

The Bible offers several principles that encourage believers to find peace and hope in God, even when circumstances shift, personal, work and health circumstances change. And familial. From a biblical perspective, discovering contentment in times of change is rooted in a deep trust in God's sovereignty, provision, purpose. That is his gift of hope.

Even when change feels disorienting, trusting God to guide us is a key part of finding contentment. I don't need to have all the answers, because I try to trust that God knows what is best. God is God and I am not.

Change may affect our external circumstances, things beyond our control, such as family moving away, but as we keep our eyes fixed on God’s eternal promises, there is hope. Eternal hope. As Paul explains:

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 (NIV): “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

And the way to find hope for me, is in gratitude and prayer. I am grateful for my family. For the privilege of being able to raise daughters. For the joy of grandchildren who are forever hungry, make a mess and use a lot of energy.  But I get to love them all. And isn’t that the best, the way to ward off bitterness. Love. Gratitude in all circumstances, even in times of painful change, much more painful than a daughter getting married. This reflection shifts my focus from what I have lost, to all that I have as a gift to be cherished. Gratitude shifts our focus from what is lacking or difficult to the many blessings God has given us. We are reminded in Thessalonians to: 

1 Thessalonians 5:18 (NIV): “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

Practising gratitude and focusing on hope, even when things are changing or challenging, helps cultivate contentment. It reminds me that God’s grace is present in every season of life. In every circumstance, because the big picture is so much more than me. And I remain loved.

I have found contentment is gained through gratitude and prayer. This is life changing. And it is bitterness dispersing. Feelings go up and down, but what matters is my long term relationship with God. I try to find peace and satisfaction in God’s sovereignty, provision, and promises. Ultimately, contentment is grounded in the presence and sufficiency of Christ, who enables us to endure and thrive through all the changes of life. I pray for this hope in all of our lives.

Andrea Grear

Principal, Secondary - South Plympton